The Weekly Worship: The other ‘Spider’ man returns!

This is exactly what the UFC needs. While the company has obviously monopolized the rest of the fight industry with thrice-monthly shows, unprecedented merchandising, and a spectacular global audience, the fight fed hasn’t garnered much water-cooler talk since Ben Henderson’s “upset” over Frankie Edgar back in February.

And even that battle couldn’t share bunks with the holiday season insanity that was “Shogun”/”Hendo.”

Now enter UFC 148: Silva vs. Sonnen. Sure, we over at GHG haven’t been the nicest folks to Dana White’s enterprise in some time (check out: Dood, that Brock/Cena was the best UFC fight of the year!) – and this coming from someone following the Ultimate Fighting Championship since Royce Grace was choking out Ol’ Country Buffet-squashing sumos and mountain-valley diner brawlers with his gi – but there’s no denying that this middleweight championship rematch will be one for the masses.

And whether White’s a genius or this card’s timing proved purely impeccable, this week fans of Spider-Man and the “Spider” man have plenty to cheer about. Two years later, Chael Sonnen and Anderson Silva can finally put their mouthguards…where their mouth is. Many were shocked when the “American Gangsta” had the champ on his back, pummeled, and nearly beaten ’til that mysterious jiu-jitsu of Anderson’s finally arrived – in this case, a triangle choke.

But let’s not sleep on the kid.

Chael is just one of those guys that knows he’s better than you, knows he’s going to whip you, and knows if he somehow by heavens doesn’t come out victorious, he’ll have a cigar lit surrounded by 7 or 8 casino gals (or cosplayers, how he does) with only more reason to fight another day. And now Silva’s accusing his challenger of “mental problems.” Isn’t that an essential requirement before you step into that ring anyway?

But one thing Sonnen may not want to mentally dissipate this Saturday night is the distinct similarity that Marvel’s web-slinger and the Brazilian bad-ass have in common: angles. You just never know from which direction Silva’s going to attack…

Like any opponent of Silva’s or Parker’s, you’d almost feel bad for Sonnen if he already wasn’t the grandiloquent Osbournesque man he is. And, with marquee baddies like Brock and Tito out the door (wait…this just in…Tito is on the card, you say? And fighting Forrest Griffin again? Holy! Moly.), you know White has much a need for villains as his pal Vince over in Stamford. Sonnen can be it. If his physical output once again matches his legacy-destroying intentions, and his wrestling aggression doesn’t get the best of his “4th quarter” stamina, UFC might just have to say “hello” to the bad guy.

New champ or not, the hope lies in whether this caged epic “remake” will ring the same thunderous opening as its sister-movie counterpart, and splurge into a plethora of cards actually worth fighting (or paying) for.

“How you break your face! How you break your face!” – Silva

A lot of other comic sites took the week off from reviewing books in favor of giving their own writers the holiday, as well as taking that extra time to prepare for some little event you may have heard of next week that takes place 30-minutes from Mexico. Well, let’s not lose sight that two of the week’s most important books involve our Fantastic webbed-Avenger who has yet to become an X-man (wasn’t that a rumor last year?):

• Ultimate Comics Spider-Man #12 continues Brian Bendis’ roll with new kid on the block, Miles Morales. While he’s off witnessing the 616 Universe for the very first time over in Spider-Men (Bendis other collaboration with art-extraordinaire Sarah Pichelli), Miles has a lot more serious issues to deal with in his Uncle Aaron a.ka. The Prowler. Without spoilers, and trust me, you’ll want to see the last page for yourself, these two do their Sunday best to keep it all in the family. Roughly. This battle provides the finest scene of the run yet, while Miles continues to discover the abilities that separate himself from the other Ultimates. I’m not quite sure how the current UCSM run will pan out with all the crossover crud we’re about to receive, but those looking for a fresh approach — and the reason why Donald Glover will appear in Amazing Spider-Man 3 in 2016… — Ultimate is the way to go.

• If the Amazing Spider-Man film and video game (sorry for the delayed review, but Skyrim is TAKING OVER MY LIFE! “Dawnguard” has arrived, you know) doesn’t fulfill your amphibious appetite, Dan Slott’s Amazing Spider-Man #689 doesn’t stray too far away from our new favorite Lizard. Dr. Curt Connors is the centerpiece in this week’s issue, as Parker and Morbius the Living Vampire – who supposedly breathes easy with sunrays and has yet to appear on his own “Team” Burger King cup – try to figure out how to separate the herpetologist Jekyll from the reptile’s Hyde. Slott’s writing definitely amps up from the last arc, but now the art lacks the consistent detail of recent ASM all-stars, Stefano Caselli and Humberto Ramos (who doesn’t receive nearly enough credit for all his delicious awkwardness). Yet, while not the prettiest book on the stands, the new storyline is sure to fulfill those Lizard/Spidey cravings action away from the silver screen.

• As usual, the Parish Picks of the Week are updated today, so check the slideshow to the right to see which comics our church picked (Animal Man, again???), and which ones our church didn’t (Avengers vs. X-Men #7 didn’t pick up on the momentum of Hickman’s #6? Well, duh. He didn’t write it).

• Holy Hell of a Hall H, Batman! Our Saturday Comic Con agenda sees the Rev. Moody parking his Sam Adams Seasonal-drinking butt in one chair for 11-plus-hours straight – if lucky enough. From boyhood idol Quentin Tarantino and his new slave-bounty-hunting flick Django Unchained (starring Jamie Foxx and… Don Johnson!! And, oh yeah, some Leo dude); to Warner Brothers’ trio of a skinnier Peter Jackson‘s The Hobbit, Guillermo Del Toro’s alien vs. robot “motherfucking” adventure Pacific Rim, and special fx-wiz Zack Snyder’s take on the Caped Crusader, with Superman: Man of Steel; to Shane Black giving Iron Man 3 the kiss-kiss bang-bang (complete with goofy Guardians of the Galaxy announcement); to the blessed finale that is Kevin Smith‘s Silent Bob Comic Book Men live podcast. Boo-yah! It’s just a damn shame there’s already a line longer for Hall H than the women’s bathroom on Sunset Boulevard’s Skybar.

• Today, Chew’s John Layman was announced the new writer of Batman’s Detective Comics. Great, another Bat-book I have to add to the punchlist. Monetary conditions aside, Layman’s Chew is one of the most frenetic detective comics on the shelf, so there’s no arguing the obvious marriage between indy comic stalwart and DC Comics right here. We’ll see if this transition from Layman – who also has a Spider-Man Annual to his major label credit – goes the way of Scott Snyder (Batman/DC, Swamp Thing), or Nick Spencer (Iron Man 2.0, Ultimate Comics X-Men)….