From dodging Nazi bullets to dodging Koopa shells on a anti-gravity track, the Saint Of All Superkicks has had a helluva gaming week. And what better way to get my thumbs ready for the big celebration at the LA Convention Center next week!
WOLFENSTEIN: THE NEW ORDER – Let’s start off this pair of sure-shots with our favorite Nazi-killing MF, B.J. Blazkowicz. In the latest title in the Wolfenstein franchise, you return as the WWII hero in an alternate reality to American history. The Nazi regime has dominated and crushed all opposing forces. They rule the globe. Mothafucka, I’m talking tanks, giant robots, killer robo-dogs, flying sentry gun toting mothaf-n-superiors, superhumans, etc. Name it, they got it! While the graphics spread across this Neo-Germany are on par, the dastardly aiming system is neary impossible to deal with. If you’re a Wolfenstein vet, you may have a better shot at adjusting but the Superkick recommends the stealth routine regardless. If you sound off one guard, the whole cavalry will roll up on that ass like Christopher Reeve. Stealth kills can also be rewarding with trophies and upgrading weapons. Be careful though, those Nazi sons-a-bitches have a way of sneaking behind you and taking you down (due to some highly questionable AI). The boss levels are also very interesting — to say the least — but some can take multiple times to complete. Hopefully they can patch up the aiming system later on. For what it’s worth, Bethesda’s Wolfenstein: The New Order is a game to help pass time for the bigger titles coming this year for what are now “current gen” systems. Not the most ringing endorsement, sports fans, but bloody hell go play it anyway. 3.5/5.
MARIO KART 8 – While there is no doubt GHG’s Queen of Gaming did her thing on the Nintendo track, let’s not forget that the Saint ain’t hatin’ on Mario either. And it’s a good thing — as Mario Kart 8 is easily one of the best titles to come to the Wii U. Some new things in MK8 (and that’s not MKX, which you can bet your hottest mustard I will be covering at E3…): New weapons such as a Boomerang, Piranha Plant, and Super Horn, which all pose as great distractions when that spiked-head bastard Bowser tries to cut you off. Do remember, you can customize your kart to your liking for any race. The theme for Mario Kart is anti-gravity. So wait! Mario and Luigi can see up Daisy and Peaches dress??!!!! How typical. Moving on, the anti-gravity on certain tracks can either make you or break you depending on the difficulty setting you pick. If nothing else, the racer is fun for the whole family. Everybody can join in. You can even broadcast your races on Mario Kart TV and share your reel with friends online. With 30 characters to choose from, online racing holds up to 12-players at a time. The downside of taking your race to “Cybertron” is you can only talk mad shit in the lobby, but not during the race. Dammit– I had a good insult ready too! All and all, this classic 22-year old franchise has never played this fast or looked this amazing (at 60 fps), and that soundtrack is hynotic to death. Till I get my Super Smash on, you can best believe the Superkick will be online more often to break some hearts. 4.25/5.