Murdering SprE3: The Lost Files (Part Deux)

You know an event was spectacular when peeps are still talking about it more than a week later. Okay — so maybe that’s just us. But, where Comic Con can rip the absolute sails off of your boat, E3 had us craving for more.

Sure, our diocese essentially took the day off last Wednesday (See: To Watch: Our Call of Duty). But with a near infinite amount of games to check out, we decided to conjure up a list of the games we missed, didn’t have the time to review (hey, we were only allowed one priest and one nun), or just didn’t have the appointment for:

10. ZombieU – We regretfully didn’t get a whole lot of time with the WiiU (Arkham City: Armored Edition was it), but this may be the one game getting raves across the board. Nintendo’s answer to “The Walking Dead”? To Resident Evil? Either way, the tension created between your “loot screen” on the Gamepad itself and the boob tube for eerie confrontations should seperate this zombie experience from the rest.

9. Medal of Honor: Warfighter – With an exuberant amount of shooters at E3, can you really blame this parish for the miss? Local word around the E3 community on EA’s next fighter was really high. I do love the idea of a Global Multiplayer “Cup,” as varying teams of warfighting dweebs will get to represent their country. Slovakian scrum? I’m in.

8. NBA 2K13 / NBA Live ’13 – From what I heard, there wasn’t much to show behind 2K’s closed doors demo. A seperate “NBA All-Star Weekend” if you pre-order? Lame! There’s no doubt the Dunk Contest, 3-Point Shootout and Skills Competition should be up in Franchise. With my playoffs then still underway (a computer controlled Celtics team actually won), there was no problem taking a pass. And NBA Live? Are we back in the ’90s again? Trying to compete with 2K basketball at this pont — after the AMAZING ’12 edition — is a flat-out sin.

7. The Walking Dead: “Episode 2: Starving For Help,” Battlefield 3: “Armored Kill,” Skyrim: “Dawnguard” – We had to make a few sacrifices this week and downloadable content (DLC, foolz!) was one of them. I still have yet to get to the first “Episode” of the Xbox Live Walking Dead adaptation, and the frustrating campaign of BF3 has still left a sour taste. Skyrim, though? I was hanging around Bethesda’s booth on Day 3, but was completely enamored by Dishonored. And, actually, the 3D version of DOOM. But we love Skyrim over at God Hates Geeks (hell, it was our GOY for 2011!), so it should be quite apparent we’re looking forward to the 15-hours of bloodsucking we’ll get with “Dawnguard.”

6. Metal Gear Revengeance / Splinter Cell: Blacklist – Maybe our biggest regret of the event. Ubisoft kicked some major tail at E3 (AC3, Far Cry 3, Avengers: BFE, ZombiU, and, of course, our #1 miss here…) and “Blacklist” was no exception. While the Rev did land himself a Splinter Cell T-shirt thrown from one of the publishers, it was a small — and wears like scuba gear.

GHG did cite SC with our Microsoft press conference coverage (Hallelujah for E3 Homeruns), and we hope that tickles the fancy of any fan of Sam Fisher, from the voice of Michael Ironside or not. Konami’s Metal Gear Revengeance, on the other hand, is only Metal Gear in name. Instead of infiltrating secret-ops bases via Solid Snake, Revengeance goes the way of a swashbuckling, laser-katanna-wielding Bayonetta. Still, could be a hella good time:

5. Forza Horizon – Forza 4 was absolutely incredible last year and this spin-off treks around the wondrous Colorodo rocky summer. Vroom.

4. South Park: The Stick of Truth – Yikes! How in the hell did GHG miss this!?

Oh, ’cause there was only a trailer. That’s how. We can finally take out entire “Teams” of douchey vampire hipsters with our Vibroblades, Mongorian Bows, and Effin’ Ninja Stars. Respect the Stick’s authority!

3. FIFA ’13 – There’s a tremendous soccer craze going on right now with the World Cup Qualifying games. But, what if I’m still not done with my adored ’12? After finishing up seasons in NBA and NHL, and skipping out on the likes of my sad-ass Bo-Sox this year in MLB, FIFA 12’s going to be the only sports game I play until College Football. Which already comes out like next month. Damn. I’m in no rush for a FIFA ’13. Really.

2. The Last of Us – Private appointments only. Sony! You’re meaning to tell us that a system who’s getting their teeth kicked in by Microsoft should “hide” their best game? Good. I don’t own a Playstation anyway.

1. Watch Dogs – Private appointments only. Completely understood. Not only was this the biggest surprise at E3 (since Game Informer leaked their Gears of War: Judgment info just a few days earlier..), this may have been the most impressive game. We tried to nudge into the private booth Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, but appointments were backed up from all the big shots. Vidgameboyz.net, how dare yee! So sit back, sip on that mochachino latte, and relax to one of the most impressive E3 demos ever. I promise this’ll be worth 10-minutes of your time:

Now maybe we shouldn’t blame Rock Star for pulling their GTA5 out of E3, eh…

 

That’s it!

Took much longer than we wanted, yet we hope everyone enjoyed our coverage of E3. 8 articles and a podcast (CLICK HERE!) later and we’re back to reality! Comic Con is next. “The Weekly Worship” will return later this weekend.

See anything else the church missed? Let your voices be heard!