Woeful Worship Archives - Page 2 of 3

December 24, 2017

ELVES [Woeful Worship]: Tis the Season to Summon Demons! Fa la la la la!

Happy holidays, fellow geeks. While I had intended to look at a Lifetime Christmas movie (oh, worry not, I'll be hitting up those insane nuggets in no time), I took a drunken trip to 1989, where director Jeffrey Mandel unleashed the unintentionally shitty Elves into our yuletide lives. Do you love schlocky, shitty, what-can-only-mockingly-be-called-"horror" movies …

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September 18, 2017

SPACE JAM [The Woeful Worship]: Ehhhhh, What’s Crappy, Doc?

Greetings, fellow geeks and geekettes. My goodness, it's been a while. Hell, when last we perused these waters, our country wasn't on fire, but here we are, the end of summer, and looking to get started with awards season. But there aren't any awards where we're going...Anyway, I'd had a certain movie planned to cover …

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August 24, 2016

TEEN WITCH [Woeful Worship]: Top That!

The 1980's were...a weird, weird time. A former actor was in the White House. Women's shoulders were strangely huge. New Coke was on the market. Regular Coke was on the market. And coke coke was on the market. Stallone was a man's man. Schwarzenegger had punched an alien in the dick. And James Bond was …

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July 14, 2016July 14, 2016

FATAL DEVIATION [Woeful Worship]: You’ll Believe a Monk Can Fly!

Ireland is home to an Irish kung-fu movie. That sentence alone--while baffling--is remarkably, entirely true, and prone to multiple iterations of, "What? Huh? The hell? Why? What drugs did you do? ALL OF THEM?!" and so forth. This is not an urban legend, my fellow congregation, nor is it a mythic sermon. This is a …

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May 31, 2016

DANGEROUS MEN [Woeful Worship]: Well Worth The Wait.

It's been a busy couple of weeks here, fellow geeks, but I, "El Sacerdote" assure you it will be worth the wait. We're going to take a look at a film that took nearly thirty years before it saw the light of day, so the past few weeks of waiting won't be that long in comparison. …

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April 6, 2016April 6, 2016

THE ROOM [The Woeful Worship]: Oh, hai!….Yes, yes, we get it. He talks funny…

Alright, last week we took a bit of a breather. "El Sacerdote" needed every day to rest up, what, with WonderCon, Batman V Superman: Dawn Of A Plot, and...to be honest...the one-two punch of David DeCocteau really took a toll on me. Needed all my strength for this week's Woeful Worship, because this is probably …

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