STREET FIGHTER V [Review]: Ha-Fool-Ken!

First and foremost, I’m going to do a favor to all the “TL;DR” types: all the negative things you’ve heard about Street Fighter V are true. No, this game is not worth $60, regardless of what passionate pitch your Street Fighter fanboy friend gave you; and no, the DLC Season Pass doesn’t look to make it any better…

For those of you that want to get an in-depth look into Sony PlayStation’s long-awaited exclusive fighter, take a seat and grab a drink. This is not going to be pleasant.

First the good news:

• Street Fighter V is pretty. SFIV was more visually-striking to me, feeling more like concept art popping to life — which I loved. Yet while this follow-up looks cool, it just doesn’t really strike a chord. It has fancy, albeit cartoony 3D models. Animations are actually a highlight, with a lot of cool secondary animations that can be seen in things like clothing (though let’s try to ignore the “Dead or Alive” boobs and the moronic hair physics).

• Gameplay is good. I mean, it’s Street Fighter. “Purists” and competition-level people might get annoyed with this comment; but for most gamers, if you’ve played one SF, you pretty much know what you’re getting into. This game is far more forgiving with chip damage and blocking penalties. Combos also give you a much larger window to work with. The Variable system is this iteration’s “tweak” (every SF seems to have one). I prefer IV‘s, but here we are.

• I need a third good thing to round it out.. Hm… Ryu looks great with a beard! He’s a wandering super hobo though, so it makes you wonder why he hasn’t always had a beard option.

Seriously though, once you do — finally — get into an online match (and it runs smoothly), SFV can absolutely be a blast if you’re caught up in the competitive spirit.

Now for the.. bad:

• The “Roster”. This is subjective, but I find it appalling. Of the new characters, only Laura feels like the only worthwhile addition. And please, shut up with “oh, what about Necalli?” guy (because I know at least one of you is saying that right now). He looked amazing in the trailers, but far too underwhelming when used in the actual game. OH, is Zangief your main? Did you like finishing people off with the epic Ultimate Atomic Buster? Haha. Go ahead and look “Zangief Critical Art Street Figher V” (it’s sad what they’ve done). How about the fun double german suplex (360 + kick)? That’s been replaced by the “Siberian Express”, which looks like an odd, botched Jumping Walls of Jericho or Styles Clash…

• (Above, continued…) Oh, and no more Banishing Flat to close distance/deal with projectiles.. Sorry for the Zangief rant, but his being neutered hurt. Also, I really, really hope you didn’t like picking Ultras–or Critical Arts, whatever, because you’ll be seeing no Shin Shoryukens or Shinryukens here either. Capcom fanboys: At this point, you’ll want to jump in with “well, damage-wise, those moves would have been the same — it’s just cosmetic”. You’re not wrong. However, how about you get your lips off of their asses and just admit that they should’ve had multiple Critical Arts to pick from?

• The Season Pass. Well, you get 6 additions to the roster. Alex, Guile, Balrog, Ibuki, Juri, Urien. Oh, and both with a premium costume! …That’s it. I understand the appeal of most of these characters. I really do. But know what I don’t recall hearing? Ever? This: “Oh, man, I love Urien. He’s my main”. Also, calm down, Guile and Nash fans, hear me out… I know they’re technically different characters; yet when the roster is this limited, do you really need two characters as similar as Guile and Nash? Especially when one is part of the Season Pass? You know what would’ve been great instead of Urien or Juri (a.k.a. slightly different Cammy)? Oh, I don’t know.. Blanka, Sagat, Adon, Akuma……………….

• Overall Value: Nooooope. Even if you love Street Fighter (hell, Moody almost switched over to the Sony Darkside with a PS4 purchase just for this game alone!), you’re better off paying $25 for the Ultra SF IV digital download on PSN. The currently online-only SFV is absolutely not worth $60–yet. Think about it: you’re buying the fighting game equivalent of Titanfall, with a story mode just as bad. As you witnessed in today’s articles…

STREET FIGHTER V DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A BASIC ARCADE MODE.

But, of course, Capcom is adding one post-launch. I’ll let that simmer for a bit. A SF game without an arcade mode on release day. Oh, another gem that I like is that the Shop “feature” is something that’ll be “available in a free update in March”.. Do they want a pat on the back for giving me access to the shop in a free update in March? They’re also promising to add to the story mode in June. You know, they’ll add to the bare-bones campaign 3-months after the game has been out. Great.

I was thinking about comparing SFV to other fighters out now… I don’t know anything about the GHG-praised MKX. I’ve never been a MK guy, as the only fighting franchises I’ve cared about are Killer Instinct and SF; and comparing SF V to Iron Galaxy’s amazing KI is like comparing.. I can’t even think of a clever analogy. It’s like comparing a turd to a filet mignon.

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