SDCC 2016 [Panel Reviews]: Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets / Snowden.

"The Apostle" Lance Paul @Lance_Paul
“The Apostle” Lance Paul @Lance_Paul

VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS (Thursday) – Fifth Element Luc Besson’s newest potential masterpiece Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets took the stage on first day of Hall H, with the beloved director, his producer/wife Virginie Besson-Silla (Lucy), and stars Dane Dehaan (Amazing Spider-Man 2) and Cara Delevingne (Suicide Squad). The film is based on human territory government special ops, Valerian (Dane) and Laureline (Cara), charged with serving and protecting through the universe. Our Han Soloesquw hero continually chases after Laureline as they chart across the universe keeping the peace.

http://youtu.be/5K_8IAqU3Cg

Adapted for the screen and directed by Besson, this is the most expensive film ever produced out of Europe–even rivaling such films as Avatar. Lucy fell in love with this classic comic as a kid and Valerian has become his baby and dream project ever since. Funny story: Besson had already started pre-production on Valerian when Avatar was nearly complete. Aftee Luc came on set to meet with James Cameron — and saw what Avatar was doing — Luc threw out all the work he had started on Valerian and started over, wanting to wait till technology was ready.

Walking into this panel, this Nerd Apostle knew absolutely nothing about the project nor what the hell Valerian was. I originally thought it was a whole panel on steel Game of Thrones weaponry. The good news: Valerian looks like everything we wanted the new Star Wars to be, mixed with the humor of Guardians of the Galaxy. It’s intensely possible that Besson has another cult classic sci-fier on his hands, perfectly summed up by Dehaan as a “Space Bro”. Bro! 4.5/5 Hall H Campers Agree.




SNOWDEN (Thursday) – For a first coverage of SDCC 2016, it’s a shockingly not superhero or nerd-related one. Also for the first time ever, Oliver Stone dropped by the Con to promote his brand new movie, Snowden. It’s based on the life of the most famous computer consultant to rock the US by exposing government surveillance operations, which led to his becoming also a fugitive on the run in Russia. While a surprising choice for the fabled Hall H the panel covered Stone chasing down Snowden, and the process of not only getting Edward’s approval but also the pains of getting this new film financed. Originally, no big studios would tackle the film; it took the combined financing of money from France, Germany and Open Road Distribution.

(Cont.) Now as any goer knows, no panel is complete with out some kind of swag. Snowden may just take the cake for one of the most creative and cheap hand-outs, an adhesive bandage to promote the film and use as a NSA video phone blocker. This also came in handy when Oliver brought on his cast: the talented Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Shailene Woodley and Zachary Quinto. More surprising was the appearance of Edward Snowden himself. Following a live Google Hangout, the former National Security Agent joined the cast and director for a private screening and Q&A of the film for fans.

“I don’t think anybody looks forward to having a movie made about themselves, particularly somebody who’s a privacy advocate,” Snowden said. “Some of my family members have said, ‘He sounds just likes you.’ For me, it sounds weird because the voice in your head is never the same thing, but if he passes the family test, he’s doing all right,” Snowden spoke on his approval of the film and also Gordon’s portrayal. This spoke volumes, considering Gordon was only able to meet with Snowden once in Moscow for 4-hours and based the rest of his voice patterns and character off of footage. 3.5/5 Bible Spies.

LUCY [Movie Review]: Go Ahead… Do Some Drugs

First off, let me say j’dore Luc Besson (The Professional). He always has a strong female character that makes me grin from ear to ear. His femme fatals have become legendary: from “La Femme Nikita” to “The Fifth Element,” Mr. Besson has now gives us Lucy, a heroine played by none other than the Black Widow herself… Scarlett Johansson (The Avengers).

Lucy, the titular character, is a girl who accidentally winds up caught in a dark drug deal. The bad guys stuff her with a synthetic drug that eventually begins to leak into her body. As her system begins to absorb the blue, crystalline drug, it takes a rather unexpected side-effect — it allows her to access more of her brain capacity, far beyond the average human’s 10%. Suddenly, Lucy is able to turn the tables on her captors and transforms herself into a merciless, superhuman warrior.

She's only using like 88% here...
She’s still only using like 88% here…

Okay, okay. I know everything you’re all asking yourselves… How was Scarlett? Does Lucy kick ass and does she take names?  And what happens when she accesses 100% of her brain?

1. Scarlett was good. She depicted the unlikely Lucy well, yet flawlessly made her evolution come to life. Robotic at times, sure, but clever internal instincts that allowed us (the audience) to see a shit-ton of lightbulbs turn on as we were connecting the dots of several universal truths.
2. Lucy kicked ass… with her mind. I want to kick ass with my mind. I think we can all agree that this would be awesome.
3. Go see the movie to find out what happens at the end. I’ll post no spoilers here.

All in all, I thought this movie was incredibly entertaining, and also, thank you again to Mr. Besson for reminding us all that a good movie can only be 90 minutes! Wasting 3-plus hours in a movie theater isn’t my idea of a good time. Lucy was fun, fast, and still remained thoughtful.

On a side note, I want to say that I very much appreciate Mr. Besson’s commitment to cinema du look (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinema_du_look). Although the story in Lucy is absolutely engaging, Besson’s strong inclination for “style over substance, spectacle over narrative” adds a dimension of thrill that is essential for the modern action film.

See this film. If you like fast-paced action with a quirky French attitude, it’ll be well worth the money to see it on the big screen. But I promise not to judge you wait to stream or rent. —Eva Ceja

4 (out of a possible 5) Bibles 
4 (out of a possible 5) Bibles