BLOODSHOT [Review]: Valiant Diesel.

Jason “Bad Preacher” Bud
@PreacherAMC

Valiant (Comics) Entertainment makes its virgin voyage into the perpetually-expansive behemoth that we will collectively call the cinematic comicverse, with a Vin Diesel-starring vehicle, entitled: Bloodshot, based upon the nanite-blooded, supersoldiering “hero” of the same name.

Ray Garrison is a previously-murdered Special Forces field operative who’s recently been “resuscitated” by one Dr. Emil Harting (Guy Pearce), a scientist and “visionary” heading the fictitious biotech armaments firm, Project Rising Spirit (P.R.S.) – a covert military contractor to the Pentagon…

Courtesy of P.R.S., Bloodshot’s newly-retrofitted circulatory system is pressure-pumped full of a silicone-based blood replacement solution that contains trillions of beneficial, surgical-grade nanorobotic components.

Here, Garrison now packs: enhanced human strength/agility, instantaneous, bio-molecular regeneration capabilities, body shape/mass metamorphosis properties, and seamless interfacing functionality with globalized digital/satellite technology, that allows for cross-triangulated combat strategies/engagement.

You realize this isn’t social distancing, right?

Even with Big Blood’s recent cybernetic enhancements, it seems as though his old user’s history manual is being sold separately, for now…or is it, really? Do your old memories really just “die” with the old you, or do those memories just have recessive muscles that eventually flex to life later on?

Bloodshot’s overall premise jackknifes the throttle a bit, as it basically consists of an amalgamation of familiar visual tropes and plot devices lifted from other successful films over the past 5-15+ years, including: No Country For Old Men, Total Recall, Edge of Tomorrow, and Blade Runner 2049, amongst others; and perhaps we’ve all probably seen these films on the pay, watch, and repeat cycle too many times at this point…

Call me Mr. Freeze one more time!

Despite these cinematic malefactions, viewers will champion director David F.S. Wilson’s deft utilization of Sam Peckinpah-inspired slow-motion action scene editing.

Some of his scenes even marrow-dip knuckles-deep in the super-saturated colors of cocaine, blood, and midnight. These viscerally-engaging cuts also show Vin Diesel’s nano-blood-flow as it techno-rivets his bullet-shredded facial flesh back into his hyper-fractured skullplate.

Where Bloodshot really bullets the bitemark and obliterates the bulls-eye-view is with the performances by two of its A-List-rising co-stars. Eiza Gonzalez as Katie/KT – a lethal assassin with an underlying moral code, still capable of exuding vulnerability, and possessed of such otherworldly presence one could watch her for hours on end reading a phonebook backwards in sign language

Arguably even better is Lamorne Morris as Wilfred Wigans – a fire-spitting, razor-witted computer-coding prodigy who delivers dead-on comedic timing with such a convincing English accent, that my best mate from London couldn’t even tell he was actually an American.

So happy you didn’t put it in your contract to bang me, too.

Even though Bloodshot is ultimately a superhero retread, an Edge-of-Tomorrow-Lite in a pull tab aluminum can without any aliens, and most of us don’t really go to Vin Diesel movies to experience his inner-thespian-inducing sensibilities, it still elicits moments of aesthetic inebriation, delivering some engaging retinal splatter while jumping comic book gutter-space into your headroom. 3.25/5 Blodclots in My Silicone Jamwich.

-Jason Bud