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It’s the night the stars…returned! All Impact titles are on the line! IMPACT Slammiversary 2020! We opened with the video of the hooded figure watching the recap of the build to this event. Smart way to catch up someone who’s just here for the former WWE talents.
Don Callis & Josh Matthews are our commentators for the evening. They mentioned how Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows announced just hours before this show that they’ve signed with Impact. Oh! I’m going to just ignore all the technical glitches and miscues. It’s IMPACT. It’s in their DNA.
Open Challenge: The Rascalz’ Dex and Wentz vs. ____________ – It’s the Good Brot—— nope. Not yet. Oh hot damn–point to your palm, it’s the Motor City Machine Guns! Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin are reunited. Last seen together in May 2018, and this is Sabin’s first match back since his ACL injury. MCMG vs The Rascalz! This is high speed double team blink and you miss it action from bell-to-bell. Dex & Wentz held their own against the former champions, but it was the Dream Sequence and then 1-2-3. Your winners, The Motor City Machine Guns! – 3/5
Backstage, Taya told John E. Bravo that she has to win The Gauntlet tonight. Rosemary then showed up and told Bravo that she had to win tonight. Decisions, decisions ol’ Johnny boy.
Old School Rules: TNA Champion Moose vs. Tommy Dreamer – Dreamer came out wearing a “Moose Sucks Eggs” shirt. That’s a reference to an old Terry Funk shirt about Dusty Rhodes from forever ago. This was exactly what you thought it would be. Classic Tommy Dreamer weapons showcase. Chairs, trash cans, cookie sheets, and thumb tacks! They did a good job using the silence of the building to add to the match with all the trash talking from Moose. But Dreamer never got over by winning. And tonight was no different. – 2/5
Johnny Swinger shows up in a rental car he says was reserved for “Anderson”. He mentions Ole; I’d rather see Arn. Did he mean Karl? Or…… Mister Anderson?
Gauntlet to crown Top Contender for Knockouts Championship: Madison Rayne vs. Kimber Lee vs. Rosemary vs. Neveah vs. Su Yung/Susie vs. Kiera Hogan vs. Taya Valkyrie vs. Tasha Steelz vs. Alisha Edwards vs. Kylie Rae vs. Jessika Havok vs Katie Forbes – Hoooboy. The once proud Knockouts division used to be filled with super talented workers while the other guys had all the eye candy. Man have the times changed. It’s a gauntlet match so I’m not even going to attempt to recap it. John E Bravo comes out at one point as Taya Valkrie and got tossed quickly. There was some twerking by Katie Forbes (is RVD the 4th man tonight?!) just to keep it classy. Bravo comes back again but this time dressed as Rosemary. Same gag twice in the same match. Same outcome. That about sums it up. In the end it came down to Kylie Rae vs Taya with Kylie capturing the win with the Kylie Special. – 1.5/5
What’s this?!! Heath Sl.. Miller is here! Heath is in the ring.. with a mic in his hand! I didn’t say “live mic” because of course they botched the audio. Heath says he’s here to accept the Rascalz open challenge. He’s got a good friend that works here to back him up Uh, that already happened and they lost. Alright, he wants in on the main event. Out comes Rohit Raja to run down Heath. Things got physical and it was over quicker than it took me to double check the spelling of Raja. Heath’s on his way to find Scott D’Amore and make it official: Will Heath “the Free Agent” Miller be the 4th man?!?
X-Division Championship: Willie Mack vs. Chris Bey – Long gone are the days where the X Division title was defended on the Pre-Show or Show Openers. Now it’s right in the middle of the show. Mack and Bey put on a hell of a match here. Best match of the night (so far), and Mack loses by the skin of his teeth after missing a splash and falling victim to The Art of Finesse. – 3.5/5
Rhino & Heath are reunited! D’Amore tells Heath he can’t compete tonight even though we’ve had a bunch of free agents show up already. Social Distancing. Yep. They went there. Rhino tells Heath to show up Tuesday and tell his Kids he says hello. Will Rhino be the 4th man?!??
Impact Tag Team Championship: The North vs. Ken Shamrock & Sami Callihan – Can Sami & Shamrock co-exist long enough to take out the Year Long Impact Tag Champs? Let’s find out.. Typical tag match. Shamrock looking his age, Sami doing what he can to hold on as the North continue to steamroll across the tag division like the well oiled machine that they are. The North Retains. – 2/5
The North take the mic and starting complaining that nobody is talking about their year long reign as champs (hey! I mentioned it a paragraph ago!) and they callin’ out the locker room.. and here comes The Good Bro——- aaaah nope. Still not here. But Once Again it’s the MCMG. Bang a gong and it’s on! This Tuesday we get The North vs The MCMG for the belts.
Backstage (again) we find our backstage correspondent of the evening Gia Miller and she’s found The Good Brot—— nooope. It’s Rich Swann. He’s still on crutches and he’s bummed his buddy Willie Mack lost. But Rich is coming back soon and he’s got his eyes on that Impact Gold.
Impact Wrestling Knockouts Championship: Jordynne Grace vs. Deonna Purrazzo – These two started off fast going right at each other. Deonna played keep away while she smartly picked her spots handling the twice her size Jordynne Grace. Power spots and submissions were on display until Purrazzo who showed up tonight with a serious chip on her shoulder started muscling Grace with suplexes. A giant Vader Bomb almost finished Deonna off, but in a contest of who’s armbar is best, Purrazzo slapped on a double armbar submission and is THE NEW IMPACT KNOCKOUTS Champion! – 3.75/5
Impact announces they will return to PPV with Bound for Glory on 10/24. And now…. ladies and gentlemen…. it’s time for the MAIN EVENT! What was once a 5 way dance for the title is now a 4 Way and we WILL have a New Champion (Because the belt has been vacated!)
Ace Austin vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Trey Miguel vs. ___________ to crown the new Impact Champion – Who’s the Fourth Man?! Is it Heath?! Rhino?! Raven?! Monty Brown?! James Storm?! Chris Harris?! EC3?! Ken Anderson?! Elix Skipper?! Davie Richards?! Nick Aldis?! RVD?! Petey Williams?! Chris Masters?! Matt Cardona?! Hulk Hogan?! Okada?! No! It’s.. Rich Swann. Yeah, exactly my thought too. But– before the bell can be rung, it’s The Good Brot——- sum’bitch! Nope. It’s EY! Eric Young is here. TNA Royalty (Matthews words, not mine. But, I don’t disagree..)
What was once a fatal five-way is once again. I guess EY used his Canadian hookup with D’Amore to skip ahead of Heath Miller.
Now look, these five men went to war. You want stiff shots? High impact? Fast paced Lucha offense? You’ll get that all here and then some. Ya want a Canadian Destroyer to the Outside?! Yah. That happened. You can tell that Eric Young has been waiting to wrestle again; Swann too. Everyone worked extremely hard here. One by one they fall until it’s down to Eddie vs Ace. Eddie brutalizes Ace with the Boston Knee Party for the One Two Three. – 4/5
Before he can celebrate Madman Fulton attacks Eddie from behind, with Ace joining in.. then.. oh.. my.. god. They’re here. THE GOOD BROTHERS have arrived! Who’s side are they on?! Well, spoiler alert — it’s not Ace & Fulton’s side. Gun Stun! Magic Killer! TGB celebrate with Eddie as he’s the the Champion of Impact Wrestling once again.
But, before we fade to black, the hooded figure who’s been watching all the build up to Slammiversary … it’s EC3!
Matches = 2.75-3/5
Entertainment = 3.5-3.75/5
Overall = 3.25/5 Bibles
And that’s it. It’s over. New champions! New faces! Returning stars and a hungry roster! Impact Wresting is on Tuesdays on AXS TV! It’s time y’all started watching again.
-Sean Farrell