SURVIVOR SERIES 2016 [Preview]: #FantasyWarfare

"Reverend" Lauro Rojas @Cheeky_Basterds
“Reverend” Lauro Rojas

After a shocking/maybe-not-so-shocking thriller from Ziggler and Miz we have crowned a new and sixth time Intercontinental Champ. Also adding to the stipulation? The Miz will be facing crowd favorite Sami Zayn, in his backyard nonetheless, at the perennial Survivor Series for the strap. Maybe it was WWE’s way of “smart-booking” to have a Ziggler lose it to Miz only for him to lose it to the underdog from the underground. If anyone was more deserving of the belt it’d be Zayn. After having that amazing feud with Universal Champ Kevin Owens and middling about the midcard for a while, it’s about time Zayn was given his due. Expect high flying, hard-hitting action and quite possibly some mid-match shenanigans. Prediction: It is my bold-stone-cold-lock-of-the-century for Sami Zayn to come out on top.

WOMEN’S SURVIVOR SERIES: Team RAW v. Team Smackdown Live
Destiny "Evangelical" Edwards
Destiny “Evangelical” Edwards

Survivor Series is my favorite of the Big Four, similar to how Fall Brawl was my favorite WCW Pay-Per-View because it had.. “WarGames”. I love traditional Survivor Series matches and–unlike last month’s HIAC having three matches using the titular gimmick (of which only the last one actually belonged in the cell)–I have no problem with there being three of ‘em. On the women’s side, we have Team RAW (Charlotte Flair, Sasha Banks, Bayley, Nia Jax and Alicia Fox with Dana Brooke as an “alternate”) vs Team SD Live (Nikki Bella, Becky Lynch, Alexa Bliss, Naomi, and Carmella with Natalya as “coach”). Prediction: It’s RAW. We all know it’s RAW, even though it should be SD. On RAW, if you’re not Charlotte or Sasha (or to a lesser extent, Bayley or Dana Brooke), you’re kinda just spinning wheels. SD has been doing a much better job of showcasing their entire women’s division. Bliss has been on fire in her feud with Bex, Naomi got a cool new entrance and reminded everyone that she does stuff other than the demeaning Rear View, and Nikki Bella has managed to pull some new things out of Carmella. I’ll be rooting for #TeamBlue, but RAW is going to win it.

CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE: Brian Kendrick v. Kalisto
CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE: Brian Kendrick v. Kalisto
Ryan "Father Grimm" Davis @OGMrGrimm
Ryan “Father Grimm” Davis

In the match with the highest stakes on this inter-promotional card, not only can a title change hands and shows.. but also the entire Cruiserweight Division! Our new WWE Cruiserweight champion “The” Brian Kendrick has proven to be the smartest man in the company with his wily veteran maneuvers. Kalisto recently made his comeback with a surprisingly savage attack that hobbled Baron Corbin and taking him out of action. Prediction: Despite the whole cruiserweight division being put on the line, there’s a reason why Kendrick is called “The Man with the Plan”.

TAG TEAM SURVIVOR SERIES: Team RAW v. Team Smackdown Live
TAG TEAM SURVIVOR SERIES: Team RAW v. Team Smackdown Live
Anthony "PriestMode" Holloway IG @Grumpykore
Anthony “PriestMode” Holloway
IG @Grumpykore

My son Jace, actually, thinks the The Club — Karl Anderon and Luke Gallows — is going to be the last men standing, after defeating SD Live’s finale pair, Rhyno & Slater. Yes, dear Destiny, RAW will victorious again. RAW just has better and stronger talent, and something is bound to happen with Francesca 2. #NewDayRocks Any more then 3 people is NO DQ, right? Although I’m happy that the WWE will finally decide a tag match with true Survivor Series rules elimination, if one half of a tag team is eliminated, the whole team will be eliminated! Prediction: Jace and I are going with the Ascension, because.. ha.. not even on their best day, marks. Team RAW wins with Gallows’ boot to the face.

SURVIVOR SERIES: Team RAW v. Team Smackdown Live
SURVIVOR SERIES: Team RAW v. Team Smackdown Live
Felipe "The 3rd Deacon" Crespo @F7ovrdrv
Felipe “The 3rd Deacon” Crespo

So excited to see RAW crush Smackdown Live. Well, at least that’s what should happen; but since people love that gloryhound Shane, Bryan, and that shell-less turtle James Ellsworth, I’m mentally preparing myself for the opposite. Sidebar: You’re right now stupidly asking yourself “Gloryhound? Shane?! Whaddaya mean?” First off, an entire roster, and on SD, land of opportunity (and all that BS), he just had to take the last spot on the team, didn’t he? Secondly, this past RAW, the spot where Braun Strowman was finally taken down… Wyatt would’ve made more sense. Hell, Orton. But, nope. Who gets the spot highlight? The guy that lives off of water, oxygen, and spotlights: Shane McMahonPrediction: As much as I love some of the SD team members (Wyatt, Orton, Styles), when the line-ups are compared, team SDL just feels severely outclassed. Not to mention outgunned with how Strowman has been portrayed and growing into his role as a monster; bitch and moan all you want, haters. You know it’s true. I’m hoping for a RAW win, but won’t be surprised if SD Live goes away with it, because a.) Ellsworth, b.) “Creative” and c.) Gloryhound.

MAIN EVENT: Brock Lesnar v. Bill Goldberg
MAIN EVENT: Brock Lesnar v. Bill Goldberg
“Pastor” Shawn Puff @ShawnPuffy
“Pastor” Shawn Puff

Ladiesssss and Gentlemennnn… my name is Shawn Puff, and I’m here tonight as a representative for the Ringside Apostles to talk to you about a rematch 12-years in the making. A rematch that, honesly, I’m not even sure I’ve been waiting for. Let’s face the facts: while it will be fun to see Goldberg in the ring once again, he’s already said this is his last match and he hasn’t even had any warm-up matches on RAW. This leaves the question: will he even be able to look good in the squared circle? I mean, sure he’s in great physical shape but that means nothing. Goldberg was never a ring technician or even a guy who could put on a good 20-minute match without looking clunky. Now we expect him to do it after not being in the ring in 20-years? Ok…

On the flip side, we have the incumbent night-mayor of Suplex City, the Beast Incarnate himself, the Conquerer Brock Lesnar. When are they going to give this guy another title run? This is the perfect time to do it with the brand split. Oh well. Brock has another year or so on his contract; he’ll probably end up with another extension on that since he’s only a part-time guy and, why not? He’s beaten all of the old guard and he’s primed to hand out free tickets to Suplex City to everyone on the current rosters. There is absolutely nothing to gain from putting Goldberg over on Lesnar. All that does is kill his persona and make him look weak by having him lose to an old man in his dotage, 20-years removed from action. Prediction: I don’t know that Oldberg! Oldberg! OLDBERG! can take 20 trips to Suplex City, but I’m sure he’ll get the entire tour of the city and get sent home on an F-5 in under 10-minutes. This match is going to be a brawl, completely dominated and conquered by your winner and still your Night Mayor of Suplex City, the Beast Incarnate, BROCK LESNAR.

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