Bryan Hitch Archives - GeeksHaveGame

March 25, 2020

GIANT-SIZE X-MEN – NIGHTCRAWLER / SPIDER-WOMAN / CABLE / SUPERMAN [Reviews]: Comics Quaran-Time, Part I.

What’s up, fams? It’s a rare opening hello from your “Monsignor” Travis Moody. I want to thank everyone for their continued visits to GodHatesGeeks, checking out our reviews, peeping our previews, vibing to our podcasts and just being an overall great geek. We love you. We hope you are staying the fuck home if you can, and if you are essential — and we know you are, no matter what — The Clergy of Cool applauds your bravery and tireless work that allows the rest of us quarantinerds everything we need to survive. We can’t thank you enough.

This week, expect a few special editions of our traditional Fistful of Comics and Sunday Stash. Here, in Part 1, our fearsome foursome take a look back at March, a few of the comics you might have missed and a focus on one that even launched today in our opener. Our next couple of features will review current funnybooks and even 1 or 2 that drop next week(!!). Thanks for tuning into our continued coverage and kick-ass features that should help keep your mind off the everyday grind. Stay safe, wash your hands!

**GIANT-SIZE X-MEN: NIGHTCRAWLER #1** – Marvel Comics

BAMF! What we have here is a quick done-in-one shelf filler of an X-Men title. Yes, yes, it’s written by Jonathan Hickman, and yes, yes, it’s drawn by Alan Freakin’ Davis (with colors by Carlos Lopez) and upon first glance? Not much happens. Or, does it?

A team is sent to the former School for Gifted Youngsters (fka) The X-Mansion when someone, or multiple someones tried and failed to operate a transportation gate of Krakoa, a recon team consisting of Nightcrawler, Eye-Boy, Magik, Cypher & Lockheed (you had me at Davis drawing Nightcrawler, adding Lockheed to the book is like finding $20 in the pocket of a pair of pants you just bought) are sent it to see what’s what. Ghosts of the past, both literal and physical make appearances –hence the story title “Haunted Mansion”– with an old villain making its return to the Pages of the X-books since 2014!

That’s not all, as someone’s secret is found out and the X-Books just might of gained a new team member as well. This could of easily just been an issue of an X-book, as I’m not entirely sure why it’s it own one-shot book. However, any time you get 30-pages of art by Alan Davis? Well that’s always worth a couple of Bibles right there. Gains a few more points because of the call back villain as well as the cool cameos. 3.5/5 Bibles.

-Sean Farrell

Destiny “Evangelical” Edwards
@mochaloca85

Going back to work after your first kid is hard. Especially when you’re a superheroine with an overdrawn account who needs to borrow a Jackson to catch a cab home from fighting Doombots. What’s a gal to do?

Well, if you’re Jessica Drew, you go on down to Big Ronnie’s Custom Battle Spandex and get a new black costume (because you want something that looks like your normal costume, but says you get money) before you accept a gig protecting a rich kid from getting kidnapped at her Sweet 16 party.

I literally laughed out loud at Karla Pacheco ’s (Fantastic Four 2099) dialogue; it felt exactly like things Jessica would say. I loved the faces of all the kids attending the party – Pere Pérez’s (Batgirl, Archer & Armstrong) art was not only expressive, but also had great action poses. I also like the new costume; it has the elements of her regular costume, so you recognize its her, but is different enough that you’re not just looking at Spider-Woman’s costume in black.

The back-up story features pencils by Paulo Siqueira (Astonishing X-Men, Spider-Force) and shows off her new costume in detail and hints that its origin ain’t what it seems. 4/5 Mini Captain Marvels Riding A Horse.

-Destiny Edwards

“El Sacerdote” J.L. Caraballo Twitter @captzaff007

Cable returns (of sorts), younger, and significantly less grizzled, in Cable #1. Lean and fast-paced, this story finds everyone’s favorite gun-loving, time-travelling, telekinetic mutant on a rescue mission of sorts, trying to locate the young mutant Fauna, who has gone missing on the “monster” side of the island Krakoa, capitol of mutantdom on Earth.

What follows is the discovery of an ancient alien sword, which gives Cable visions of a long-lost adventurer, and the foreshadowing of a confrontation between our favorite mutants, and ancient, reactivated space-faring knights from the other side of the galaxy.

Writer Gerry Duggan keeps things light and breezy, not bogging anything down exposition-wise that can’t be shown, and artist Phil Noto has such a distinct and airy style, it is refreshing. Refreshing is probably the word that most readily describes this debut issue: Noto’s style is so painterly, almost cartoonish (and that is NOT meant derogatorily), and complimented the story completely. There’s something about this style that fits with the X-Men and their offshoot titles so well, and that’s no exception here. There’s little fat, no wasted panels, and the panels where Fauna is seeing a battle between Cable and a massive monster, having been affected by Pixie’s dust, will probably bring a smile to your face. 4/5 Bibles.

-J.L. Caraballo

Superhombre: Villanos is great.

A superhero unveiling his secret identity is nothing new in comics. Hell, doing it with a press conference is nothing new. But the way this book starts exploring the impact of Kal-Kent’s decision on villains is what makes it a delight; I’ve been tired of Joker for a while, but his interaction with Lex Luthor near the beginning is perfect — and to explore just why it is Superman is one of the more interesting characters to me (the impact it has on Toyman and others has quite the impact). Showing Superman as a super MAN rather than a superhero, and how the man influences those around him, was a great touch.

The art is.. fine. It’s fine. They switch in a more realistic style when showing “Lois and Clark” aspects, which I like in theory. There are a few artists this issue, including Bryan Hitch, Steve Lieber, and Cully Hamner, but in execution, it looks like stock photos with a shitty filter applied. It’s bad. The art used for the Bizzaro world, however, is perfect though. Jody Hauser and Matt Fraction‘s writing does wonders where the art sometimes falters. 4.75/5 Daily Planet Press Badges.

-Felipe Crespo

January 21, 2020

THE BATMAN’S GRAVE / VENOM – THE END / THE QUESTION [Reviews]: Second Coming.

Well, well, another week, and yet another Fistful of Comics coming your way, care of GodHatesGeeks. We’ve got a who’s who of titles, and publishers, and you best believe we’re gonna give you our say in which ones to pick up! From heroes, to villains, to antiheroes, to Jesus Christ Himself, we’ve got more characters here than you can shake a fist at, with some books so good, one of our faithful just had to write two reviews!

Let’s get right to it, geeks and geekettes…!

This was Bryan Hitch’s issue. Bryan choreographs a pretty stiff fight. He captures Batman’s necessary brutality in taking down enhanced thugs who do not feel pain. Sometimes it seems his movements are off balance and awkward but Bruce is enjoying every second.

Warren Ellis is on cruise control and injects his wit in the form of Alfred’s comedic retorts to let the reader know it’s still his book. I laughed out loud on two occasions. Warren Ellis and Bryan Hitch seem to be criticizing but also having fun with the BATMAN mythos since issue one. It’s definitely worth picking up, and I hope they collect it in giant sized hardcover like an an Authority Omnibus. 3.5/5 Bibles.

-Rob Maldonado

Second Coming has ended its initial run with issue #6, and this series has been an absolute, hilarious blast with a surprising amount of heart and pathos for a plot that could be boiled down to “What if Jesus Christ and Superman teamed up?” Creators Mark Russell (writer) and Richard Pace (artist) show a deep understanding not only of Christian and biblical lore, but also superhero lore itself, and have managed to successfully merge the two in a way that is genuine, sincere, and actually shows respect to both mediums, while not shying away from ultra-violence, or swearing (it is remarkable how staying true to the Bible results in gratuitous violence and nudity). God tasks Sunstar (the equivalent of Superman) with keeping an eye on Jesus, and to “toughen Him up”. Meanwhile. Sunstar and his girlfriend (Lois Lane surrogate Sheila) are traversing their own relationship problems before having a third wheel dropped in on them, and Satan himself is taking advantage of Jesus’s return to present one final temptation, while convincing God to end reality if Jesus fails to succumb to it. Here, with Sunstar incapacitated, Satan presents Jesus with his final temptation…and with genuinely surprising results.

The series itself found God allowing Jesus a second chance at coming down and preaching on Earth, only to find that the planet has changed considerably in the 2000 years since He left. And while society at large has grown up much more jaded and rough, perhaps in ways that are less discernible and obvious, it’s also stayed the same. The temptations are the same, only now, with 2000 years between appearances, His lessons and teachings have been subverted and used in callous, often selfish ways. Russell’s characterization of God Himself is a riot: angry, despondent, and impatient, God is here self-centered, a Father who can’t be bothered to be responsible for His children, His creation, or to face the fact that He perhaps just doesn’t care about any of it. He comes off almost like a drunk father toeing the line of abuse…which tracks surprisingly well with the Old Testament. He’s petty and disinterested and seemingly fickle (in a scene recalling Abraham’s faith, God almost blithely commands him, “I’m gonna need you to cut off a piece of your dick”, like it’s the most normal thing; or, following Jesus’s crucifixion, during a flashback: “Forgiveness? You call THAT a religion?!”).

Subversive, irreverent, and with a rather unexpected ending, this is one of the more surprising titles I’ve stumbled upon, and there’s enough respect (and introspection, and dissection) of the source materiel that it actually works as an exploration of biblical themes…from a critical angle, and not proselytizing, which I greatly appreciated. Don’t let the use of the Bible as a source of inspiration put you off (I’m not at all religious), but if you come in with at least a base understanding of Christianity (or Christian tropes in general), you’ll be surprised at how much you might enjoy this title. I know I was. Where this title goes from here is anyone’s guess, but I’m in it for the long haul. 4.5/5 Literal Bibles.

-J.L. Caraballo

In a slightly stunning return to “The End” one-offs, Adam Warren and Chamba Cruz bring us Venom’s final battle and it isn’t the battle we thought it would be. The two “ends” that stick in my mind are the Hulk’s, and the Punisher. Hulk ends with him turning back to Banner one last time to let him die and then the Hulk gets his wish, to finally be alone; and with The Punisher, Castle finds himself in a nuclear holocaust killing one last bad guy before succumbing to radiation poisoning and seeing his family as he passes away. In both of these one-shots, the titular hero faces one more battle that we are used to, but in Venom, Warren takes us a different way.

We see a Venom that has kept Eddie Brock “alive” for centuries until he literally turns to dust. Earth, and the Milky Way, has been overcome by a techno war between the Phalanx and the A.I. of Tony Stark. Once those two entities join forces, it’s them versus the symbiote that is Venom. He then decides to reach into his codex to pull out the mutant powers of various X-Men to literally reproduce the galaxy. But here is where it gets even crazier: by the end, he finds out that he can create whole galaxies by ripping himself apart and re-starting the Marvel Universe 1 trillion years in the future. So Venom’s end is Marvel’s recreation. That’s it.

The writing is pretty clever, and I will admit that Warren did a great job of writing the issue in a witty and unexpected ways. I did appreciate that it never explains the connection between Venom and Eddie Brock, because you don’t really need that. The art by Cruz and colorist Guru-eFX is crisp and clear and vibrant and really beautiful. The issue is fun and entertaining, but I don’t think I’ll be going back to this one like I have The Punisher’s End. While I appreciate that this issue took Venom’s end in a very heroic fashion, but I think maybe a final battle with Spider-Man might have been maybe more dramatic and maybe there could have been more intriguing. But maybe that’s just me. 2.5/5 Bibles.

-Robert Bexar

**THE QUESTION: THE DEATHS OF VIC SAGE #2** – DC Black Label

The original Question — Vic Sage aka Charles Victor Szasz — is back from the dead…only to awaken in Hub County, in the late-1880s. While issue one ended with Sage seemingly dead, this issue finds him considerably less stiff…at least until the end of the final page. Here, we get a better sense of what has happened to our duality-obsessed antihero. Hub County has no shortage of unsavory types, quick to judge and even quicker to violence, and Sage fits right in, trying to right wrongs in an attempt to find out if there is any good left in him, and a larger understanding of what is actually happening to him is slowly coming to light: someone called the Man With A Thousand Faces is either forcing Sage into the past at various points in history, or he is reliving past lives. As it is explained to him by a native seer, the Man With A Thousand Faces has existed for as long as humanity has existed, and only a specific someone named “Charlie” will end him.

Jeff Lemire once again brings a lot of psychological depth to the Question, with the art team of Denys Cowan and Bill Sienkiewicz once again knock it out of the park here. The art is harsh, moody, vibrant, and utterly alive; dreamy and jagged and as crisscrossed with lines as Sage’s mind is with doubt. The creative team is perfect for this title, and now that there’s a better idea of what the actual story is and where it seems to be going, the possibilities are growing. Next issue finds Sage in the 1940s, as a gumshoe, and if Lemire is content with showcasing the seedier sides of once-reliable and heroic genre staples, he could not have picked a better antihero than the Question.

Moody, violent, mysterious, and misanthropic, this is a series that isn’t pulling punches (some of the plot points were downright shocking: let’s just say Lemire isn’t afraid of Game-Of-Thrones-ing some characters. And NO, I DON’T mean ignoring character developments! Stop it!) If you liked the debut issue, you’ll like this one. If you like Cowyn or Sienkiewicz, you’ll like this one. And if you like Lemire, then you best believe you’ll like this. 4/5 Bibles.

-J.L.

October 14, 2019

THE BATMAN’S GRAVE [Face-Off Review]: A Book So Nice We Review It Twice!

Happy Moonday, geeks and geekettes. This week we’ve got a head-to-head face-off review of the latest title of the Dark Knight himself. The timing couldn’t be better this time out, either, since we’re getting nearer and nearer Halloween, and what better character to get us into the spooky season than one who dresses as a bat?!

Let’s get right to it.

The British are Coming ! The British are Coming ! And they’re coming after our Superheroes …. again ! From the duo that redefined Superhero Comics in the 2000’s Warren (The Authority) Ellis and Bryan (The Authority) Hitch have teamed up once again to bring us a story of the Caped Crusader himself, Batman!

What we have here is a project born out of a request of Hitch to work with Ellis again after almost two decades. Hitch finished this issue, then Ellis got busy with two seasons of Castlevania, Hitch did A YEAR of Hawkman (which you should seek out and read; it was great!) then they got back to work on Batman. Hitch is working on issue five as of the first week of October, so the curse of these two gents should be dodged, and this book shouldn’t have any shipping delays (knock on wood).

The book looks lovely, as you’d expect no less from Hitch. This book is “somewhere in continuity” which means just relax and enjoy the story. Hitch promises lots and lots of Bat-Suits for every occasion with this story that promises to span the globe. The story? C’mon, it’s a first issue by Warren Ellis. It’s sparse on story, heavy on characterization, and deep in set up. Batman, Alfred and a dead body with a twisted reveal. Do you really need more? It’s Batman, Ellis, and Hitch. For the next year this will be the first book I read every time it comes out without hesitation. 4.5/5 Bibles.

-Sean Farrell

It seems like everyone’s taking their jabs at Bruce as a metaphor for the victimizing rich that prey on the diminishing middle class. It was even alluded to in the Joker Movie. This time it’s Warren Ellis teaming up with his photo realistically skilled penciller, Bryan Hitch, aka the original creative Team Authority! Warren Ellis has been barely allowed by DC to render the Batman. He was able to write the Batman during his run on Planetary as a parody and then in the one shot where the Planetary Team travels the Bleed (or the Snowflake) to visit various Batmen in their Elseworlds.

In this book, Warren Ellis returns Batman to his Detective Roots. Batman uses his subjective wits and perspective to try to solve a case. Alfred asks if Bruce will get into the mind of the killer during their dialogue. Bruce answers that he gets into the mind of the victims… (you know, because he isn’t ever a killer). It lends to Bruce’s continuous delusion as the ever suffering yet wealthy victim. The point which affirms Pennyworth’s criticism in their conversation. It almost give Bruce an air of Trump.

This book is driven by the lovely and precise art of Hitch and the magnificent Kevin Nowlan. It’s a slow start for a Batbook, but worth the read since Ellis is doing the honors. Ellis loves to put his audience onto something new in each series.

In The Wildstorm reboot series he put me onto Denisovan’s and the Kardashev scale. He’s a delight to read merely because he does a name drop and I Google it and get introduced to something actually cooler than what I read. He does it in this book as well, and I’d tell you what and where…but that’s the true spoiler. I read Ellis to find new information, and he’s done that here. 3.25/5 Bibles.

-Rob Maldonado

March 26, 2017March 26, 2017

IRON FIST / UNDERWINTER / BATMAN BEYOND / TEEN TITANS [Reviews]: Back to Back (to Back)!

Happy Sunday Stash, fellow geeks! Where does the time go over the weekend? Never mind that; now it’s time to talk about what matters most: beer! I mean, comics! And we’ve got a quick back-to-back face-off up next, featuring a character who’s been getting a bit of a thrashing as of late (hint: his name rhymes with “Pliron Plist”).

FACE-OFF!!!

This has been a roller coaster of a week for Danny Rand, the Immortal Iron Fist. After all of the criticism the Netflix series deservedly received, Ed Brisson (Comeback, The Violent, Batman & Robin Eternal) and Mike Perkins (Amazing Spider-Man, Thor) gave us the Iron Fist story that the Netflix show should have been.

This issue has Danny at a low point and unable to summon his iron fist, getting involved with underground fight clubs (as seen on the show, except via Colleen Wing), and ends with him getting invited to a secret fighting tournament on a remote island. All of these elements are familiar to longtime Iron Fist readers, yet distinct enough to not feel like a rehash, and retain a sense of freshness that is welcoming for such a storied character. Perkins’ art style is also somewhat reminiscent of David Aja’s work on Immortal Iron Fist. All of this combines to give us an exciting jumping on point for both longtime fans, and readers who are new to the character. 4/5 Iron Fists.

**IRON FIST #1** (Variant Cover) – Marvel Comics

Holy hell! This is what I’m talking about! Iron Fist #1 by Brisson and Perkins is everything that I had wished the Netflix show would have been. Down and out of his luck, Rand is globetrotting, fighting in underground fight clubs just so he can feel the spark of the iron fist return. Without it he feels lost and directionless; this is not an obnoxious man-boy with kung-fu skills, better yet it’s a man on the ropes and searching for what he’s lost.

This Danny Rand doesn’t spend his time spouting out nonsensical bullshit: he’d rather drink a bottle of whisky and be left alone until he’s challenged to a fight by Choshin, whom hails from the island of Liu-Shi and invites Rand to a tournament. Brisson has single-handedly made Iron Fist better in one issue than Netflix could with 13-hours. And erkins’ artwork reminds me that of The Ultimates Bryan Hitch: clean and fluid artwork that make you wince at every WHUMP, KRAK, KATHOOM, and KRNCH! 4/5 Bibles.

When our esteemed editor assigned me to review Underwinter #1, I said “Sure, no problem.” But as I began, the back of my mind started to feel a quizzical itch…”This title sounds familiar.” I open the file and saw a tortured soul floating behind a pentagram, and above, a string quartet, before seeing the name Ray Fawkes (The People Inside, Superman). Ah ha! This was the new series that Ray told me about as we passed time between CBCS signings in Seattle during Emerald City Comicon.

I won’t reveal the main concept of the book; that is for you, the reader, to discover with his first story arc called “Symphony.” But, the clue to the concept is in the title “Underwinter.” As a Canadian, Ray is no stranger to snowy winters. He’s also well accustomed to what often follows the melting of the snow — the disgusting debris that was hidden underneath the snow all winter. “Underwinter” is a beautiful term to describe such ugliness: “What is hidden will emerge.” And like the slow process of melting, Underwinter is going to take its time to reveal itself. But, the journey and outcome are going to be well worth the wait. The detailed watercolor art leaves you in a strange, pensive mood; it is both scary and erotic, like committing a sin specifically to savor the arousing risk and danger. It is agony and ecstasy. You will especially feel this as you follow the string quartet, our protagonists, as they are ushered blindfolded into a room full of strangers to play. 4.5/5 Bibles.

Before digging into the review for Batman Beyond #6, I have a bit of a confession to make: outside of the cartoon–and the brief stint of Tim Drake as Batman Beyond spinning from Future’s End–I have rarely been interested in the character’s stories enough to keep up with him. I know, I can feel the seething deep-rooted hatred of the Terry fanboys now. While I’m totally vested into DC’s cosmology, I don’t often take part in future timelines that may or may not exist and aren’t directly connected to current events or Legion of Superheroes — my favorite team this side of JLA and Avengers.

Digging into the issue, we’re immediately introduced to who I assume is a new character for this storyarc, Curaré (as the cover says “The Coming of Curaré!”), though the issue is actually titled “Rise of the Demon, Part 1”, which gives us a good idea of where this story is headed through the next few issues; any League of Assassin’s stories are also awesome because it means there will no shortage of ninjas, and ninjas kick ass. Curaré — though we haven’t seen the character’s past yet — seems to be running from the League of Assassins. Possibly a defector? Through the book they keep narrowly escaping capture while trying to find Gotham City’s hero. This issue also features the return of Bruce Wayne. I didn’t read the previous arc, but they mentioned him being saved previously, and here he is being more formally introduced to the characters and to the reader.

When Dan Jurgens (Action Comics) is on the writing credits, you know you’re going to get a fun action packed superhero story for as long as he’s on the book, and this is no different. Veteran artist Bernard Chang (Green Lantern) and his colorist Marcelo Maiolo (I, Vampire) fill the pages with great looking characters and sequences and utilize many different page layouts (I really wish we could have had one big action splash page though. Maybe next issue?). With this creative team, its’ a good of a time as any to dive in to the stories of Batman Beyond. Even as someone who was never a fan, I feel compelled to see this story through already, and I think you would too. 3.5/5 Bibles.

Taffeta “Dutchess” Darling
@TaffetaDarlin

DC has been killing it with the new Rebirth titles. And–although I’m reading most of their heavy hitter books–sadly I’m still missing out on good reads, including that of Teen Titans. Yet! With the new story arc and the reintroduction to Aqualad (introduced nearly a year ago in the DC Rebirth special, but unseen previous to him not being apart of the New 52), this seemed like a good time to catch up on DC’s youngest heroes. From what I’ve read, 2017 Jackson Hyde controls water, has tattoos and is consistent in recalling the pre-2011 version of Jackson, except he has blond hair and a boyfriend, Kenny.

In “The Rise of Aqualad”, writer Ben Percy (Green Arrow) has the team adjusting to their new lives at Titans Tower. While Damian investigates mysterious occurrences involving people going missing in the waters of San Francisco Bay, Hyde heads west and finds himself in the company of the Teens — ever so penned by Percy with diverse interactions that come across incredibly natural and unforced. And, thus in the new arc, Jackson’s journey of self-discovery and embracing what makes him “different” begins. Percy and artist Pham make a terrific team, with loads of cohesive storytelling oozing from the pages. Pham nails the comedy emphasis as much as the drama. Veteran inker Wade Von Grawbadger keeps things looking sharp with colorist Charalampidis complementing along the way. Also, huge kudos to the great image homages of George Perez’s New Teen Titans #1 cover. 4.5/5 Aquabibles.

July 8, 2016July 8, 2016

THE FLINTSTONES / CIVIL WAR II – KINGPIN / 4001 A.D. – SHADOWMAN / BOUNTY / JUSTICE LEAGUE REBIRTH [Reviews]: Wilson vs. Wilma.

THE FLINTSTONES #1 - DC Comics — **THE FLINTSTONES #1** – DC Comics

Felipe "The 3rd Deacon" Crespo @F7ovrdrv — Felipe “The 3rd Deacon” Crespo
@F7ovrdrv

You know the difference between me and other people? When being accused of “phoning it in”, they’ll act shocked and insulted. Not I.. I’m phoning it in with this review. From my.. shellphone hahahaha.. Get it?! It’s like cellphone, but with the word shell in it. Because it’s set in paleolithic times..

(Bad) joke aside, if you enjoy puns — and, man, are there a lot — loved the Flintstones, are the type affected by the recent “nostalgia-type” wave of marketing or any combination of the three, well are you in luck. Unfortunately, aside from the occasional pun, I was never into the Flintstones as a kid and am mostly “meh” towards the nostalgia cash-in wave (where the hell is my Centurions movie? It would be amazing with today’s VFX). As for the comic itself, if you’re familiar with the Flintstones, it’s exactly what you remember/are expecting, only with writer Mark Russell‘s (Prez, God Is Disappointed In You) updated puns and references: shellphone, rocktagon MMA, art hipsters, etc. If you’re not familiar, then it’s about a stone age family that… Know what? Just search online for “Flintstones intro”.

Only real thing that I found kind of interesting is that Barney and Fred are now part of what seems to be this post-war PTSD support group for veterans. No; not kidding. Oh, and remember Mr. Slate, Fred’s boss? There’s hints of him being a sadistic sociopath. So there’s that. I really liked the artwork from Steve Pugh (Animal Man). I will say that. Wilma and Betty are still hot as hell and on an interesting note (or maybe so SJWS won’t bitch about tropes in case they’re bored that day?), it looks like Fred has been getting ready to face Rock Lesnar (hahaaaa puns). Not sure about Barney, they don’t show him in swimwear. I’m sure this book will find its audience–the nostalgic type–but I am not part of said audience.

2 (out of 5) Stone Tablets. — 2 (out of 5) **Stone Tablets.**

CIVIL WAR II: KINGPIN #1 - Marvel Comics — **CIVIL WAR II: KINGPIN #1** – Marvel Comics

JaDarrel "The Belser" @TheBelser — JaDarrel “The Belser”
@TheBelser

What’s up, peoples? “The Belser” returns to more comic-reviewing madness after a much needed vacation. But enough basking in my own glory. Let’s get down to ‘bidness’, shall we? Today’s review is part of the ongoing Civil War II storyline that’s dominating Marvel right now, focusing on everyone’s favorite Netflix villain, Wilson Fisk. Yeah, you know him better as the Kingpin.

Here’s the story: After a lengthy stint in San Francisco, Wilson returns to the NY Nitty with the intention of taking back control of the underworld. He finds, however, that things have changed with the advent of the new Civil War. Fellows crime lords like The Owl and Madame Masque are scared. The heroes threaten them at every turn. Add in a new sheepish criminal named Janus, and Kingpin seems poised to reclaim his crown. The thing that impressed me about this book is the writing by Matthew Rosenberg (12 Reasons to Die). Here, he portrays Wilson as an anti-hero, not unlike a Scorsese character. Sure, he’s still a ruthless criminal and master manipulator, but he’s also a man of his word.

My favorite panels are the exchange between him and a pastry store owner named Armand. Kingpin takes on a personal favor because Armand is grateful to Wilson for helping him and his community. What I didn’t like was the artwork by Ricardo Lopez Ortiz (Wolf). I found it to be too experimental and “herky jerky” for such a mainstream comic. Regardless, Fisk’s on-point characterization made this an enjoyable read that I shall continue to follow. 3/5 Bibles.

4001 AD: SHADOWMAN #1 - Valiant Comics — **4001 AD: SHADOWMAN #1** – Valiant Comics

Jimmy "Apostolic" Cupp @thejimmycupp — Jimmy “Apostolic” Cupp @thejimmycupp

Oh Shadowman, where have you been my whole life?

OK, that might be a tiny stretch of my feelings, but honestly, this tie-in to Valiant’s current main event had me hooked from the start. Quick synopsis: it’s hundreds of years after the world of the dead tried to invade and failed, leading to an aftermath where it’s basically hell on earth. One stronghold from the undead still exists and has a symbiotic relationship with a town built along its walls. This pretty much means the humans send a few occasional sacrifices and get to keep living off the mystic power.

Well, that all changes. Kaia is our heroine and also a sacrifice. She gets to the city of Sanctuary (the undead place) and everything changes! Jody Houser (Faith) and Rafer Roberts (Plastic Farm) do an amazing job of setting a fun, dark, almost Buffy the Vampire Slayer tone to the comic, while, Robert Gill‘s (Book of Death) art just enhances the feel. His take on demons is just gorgeous! I honestly wish HBO would adapt this next when GoT ends–yes, a darn comic event tie-in. 4.75/7 Circles of Hell.

BOUNTY #1 - Dark Horse Comics — **BOUNTY #1** – Dark Horse Comics

Colleen "of the Covenant" Vincent@CollyCol — Colleen “of the Covenant” Vincent @CollyCol

Bounty #1 is the story of two gorgeous sister/bestie criminals named Nina and Georgie. They start out as intergalactic Robin Hoods called The Gaflies, anticorporate heroines whose identities are wiped with their sidekick and digital world wiz, Viv. Eventually they wind up as struggling bounty hunters, with someone nefarious about to uncover their felonious past.

The comic’s visual world building is like a bubblegum dream, full of vibrancy and oddities and the characters are nothing but fun. Nina is the flashy one who looks kind of like “Punk Storm” and fights like an action movie hero, while Georgie holds down the business end of their motley crew. Viv the wiz travels through a virtual digital reality even stranger than the intergalactic one they live in.

Bounty is a pop version of a scifi cyberpunk novel, and a feast for the eyes, totally cool and really damn pretty at the same time! Written for Dark Horse Comics by the talented Kurt Wiebe (Rat Queens), alongside brilliant art work by Mindy Lee, intensely enhanced by colorist Leonardo Olea (Fairy Quest), Bounty #1 elevates a girl power tale into a legitimate work of art. 4/5 Bibles.

JUSTICE LEAGUE REBIRTH #1 - DC Comics — **JUSTICE LEAGUE REBIRTH #1** – DC Comics

"St. Nilk" Tim Hall @nilkilla **Special Contributor** — “St. Nilk” Tim Hall
@nilkilla
**Special Contributor**

It doesn’t seem that long ago that we were looking at a relaunched and revamped Justice League in the form of the New 52. If you’re like myself, you have probably read more than a few of these. In fact, I believe I’ve read at least eight JL births, rebirths and abortions. In this particular case, Justice League Rebirth #1 begins very similar, yet quite different.

True to form, JLR holds rigidly to the cookie cutter Super Team Uniting Formula. In that there is an overwhelming enemy, that no single (or even in this case a Superman-less Justice League) hero could face. While the team battles this insurmountable horror, artist-turned-writer/artist Bryan Hitch (The Ultimates), carries a familiar Justice League banter between the teammates. Unlike the New 52’s “forced to argue amongst themselves in order to create sense of angst” and piping, the Justice League Rebirth‘s characters interact as old friends or teammates would after years of battling together and interacting. Hitch’s pencils are very clean, with a good level of detail. His conveyance of battle and action is smooth and believable. Plus, did I mention a distinct lack of piping?

The twist to this story is that Superman has died and The League is facing a supreme battle without him. Well, at least the Superman of this Earth. Unbeknownst to the team, the Superman from another Earth is alive, but hoping to play stay at home dad to this world’s Lois Lane and her son. Will Clark stay at home and let Lois bring home the bacon? Will the Justice League find some way to defeat this “alien and horrific creature”?? You will have to read to find out, but I will tell you that it is a well drawn and written book, with nods to each character appropriately. They even found a use for Aquaman, so it can’t be bad! 3.5/5 Bibles.

March 27, 2014

REAL HEROES / UNCANNY AVENGERS / IRON PATRIOT [Reviews]: Not Such a ‘Party in the USA’

Back again and I’m coming at you like Kenshiro wandering the wastelands in Fist of the Northstar. It’s your weekly 1,2,3,4,5-punch of uncanny, star slammin’, reality-bending rowdy comic reviews. They don’t call me Mister Boombastic, simply fantastic Guy Padre for nothing. But enough of my poor man’s 21st Century Stan The Man impersonation.

To the Fistful!

REAL HEROES #1

Roll call. Cue the exclamation points. Olympian! Tiny Titan! The Patriot! Longbow! Velocity! Hardware! Avengers Assemble! What? Oh… Real Heroes is the latest creator-owned comic project of Bryan Hitch (Fantastic Four). Right there, you get an idea of what this book is in a nutshell. Imagine the Ultimates as a book about a bunch of actors playing the fictional Ultimates, who then really real for reals become the Ultimates. Part Galaxy Quest, minus the outright ridiculousness, but incorporating a bit of that film’s general theme into “What If the cast of the Avengers were granted their on-screen powers and really did have to save the world?”

Those comparisons are just surface elements though. The story itself is filled with some fun, realistic dialogue and entertaining characters that draw the reader into the world that Hitch is building. It begins with a recognizable, still painful tragedy as we see one of the main characters grow from that event into the man he is today: the actor who plays the beloved superhero icon Olympian in one of the biggest sequels of the year. I don’t want to spoil too much, as the issue really is a fun ride that should be enjoyed with every turn of the page.

For a new writer, Hitch handles things well, presenting us with a tight, focused story that is highlighted by witty interactions and some clever twists. I found the way he changed the tone and tenor of the dialogue — when we are supposedly watching scenes from a film to less cheesy real world (well as real as the speech of Hollyweird actors can get) talk — very well done. It really separated the “on-screen” happenings from the rest of the story.

The visuals, of course, are classic Hitch. Big, bold, summer blockbuster scenes. Even the interaction between characters have that right mix of Hollywood storyboard and Neal Adams bombast. All in all, this is a satisfying debut that throws out some pretty cool shocks and twists that will have you hooked.

Bring on the Academy.

Bring on issue #2.

(More featured reviews on next page!)

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