Splinter Cell: Blacklist is one of the year’s nicest surprises…although it shouldn’t be, and for several reasons.
The obvious reason being that this 6th console Splinter Cell — the 3rd and perhaps last of the current gen — is once again put out by Ubisoft, the company that sets the standard in video game development. The next reason is that Blacklist is a return to nonlethal stealth, following a few scary years of artillery-heavy gameplay and several delays following E3 2-years ago (perhaps concerning Splinter Cell‘s latest direction). Thankfully, the latest edition performs like a greatest hits in terms of hide-and-seek destroying. Sure, there are less environmental kills (you won’t see any more of those cool hanging-from-the-chandelier attacks), but the oil drums and fire extinguishers are still there to blow (just loved cat-calling a “heavy” right into a shot-up damper).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLlzsyR_kMI
Sam Fisher is also more athletic and nimble this time around, breathlessly gliding from metal grate to air vent, to even cliffs, with ease. That’s not to say Blacklist isn’t realistic. Sam coughs up plenty of heavy breaths once caught in one of many freakish firestorms, if you’re not exactly smart enough at being incognito throughout the game, of course. And lest we remind you, this isn’t Call of Duty (despite the game switching to 1st person during the Briggs non-optional missions). Most times, even with the heaviest Kevlar suits, Fisher can’t be hit with more than one bullet — or even take more than one or two melee strikes — especially if played on the harder difficulties, Realist and Perfectionist.
Thankfully, Blacklist offers some pretty intense customization across the board. You upgrade guns, gadgets and armor (the choice of infra-color is cool, which also light up when in darkness, as is the healthy choice of both Sonar and NVG goggles) towards any game mode with doe earned from several ShadowNet challenges, such as putting 3 or more guards to sleep with gas (not the type your favorite Monsignor has after a mean steak-and-cheese, either), or stunning 50+ soldiers with your crossbow. It’s good the rewards are very high, as you garner points for going Ghost (nonlethal stealth), walking with a Panther (a mix of stealth and action), and full-out Assault (exactly as it sounds), because everything seems expensive; especially, when you realize you can also custom up the plane to give you more ammo during mission drop-offs, or offer more intense weapon choices, such as laser-pointer Subs from the black market.
Last time I let these guys into my restaurant.
There were several frustrating parts/checkpoints during the campaign, and some were even my fault, like running around a metal grated stairway to hell for nearly an hour until I realized I could toss one of the guards through the door. You know, since he had the security pass on him. It was pretty hilarious, and gave me a moment to smile in a game full of terror and Tom Clancy-heavy techno-dump.
As a political thriller, you’ve read, watched or played this all before. Blacklist offers no origin tales, or getting-to-know-you stories. Even the villain doesn’t come off as appealing as, say, Raul Menendez in COD: BO2. No, the game is primarily about the special forces business and the worldwide terrorism at hand. Although the acting during the cutscenes is cool, they primarily take place in an aircraft command center with a bunch of folks bickering (which is also where the “menu” takes place, which is rather tight). But, hey, at least running through glass and quickly fast-roping away from a horde of enemies is exhilarating and most of the locations are appealing (“Go” to Denver!), if not exactly wondrous (Splinter Cell: Blacklist requires 2 discs, with multiplayer and an additional HD textures upgrade on the second disc).
How romantic…
This side of an adrenaline-gushing escape from Guantanamo Bay — a first for gaming, in fact — the game offers much your typical spy-gaming situations. Sure, there are beautiful moon skylights by the coast, and cool railroad tracks you can plunder enemies into; but you’ll undoubtedly shout “of course” when there are folks to be saved on yet another damn video game subway line, and have to play “shotgun supervisor” to a gazillion enemies through numerous Goldeneyesque cubicle offices.
Less fun, is the fact Ubisoft didn’t strike a deal with the legendary Michael Ironside, the classic voice of Sam Fisher. Things don’t take long for Eric Johnson‘s new role to feel awkward, either, when an early level grants Fisher a call from his twentysomethings daughter — and both sound around the same age. Yikes. By now, our favorite spy this side of James Bond and Solid Snake is supposed to sound almost halfway to the century mark, but at least in the case of Blacklist, that just ain’t happening. And, since Blacklist is no Convinction, Johnson gets away with merely doing an admirable job. A lot of the script is spread among his crew, except when you’re able to brilliantly whisper and harass guards with the select button. Players can lure dudes into a room by flicking the lights or shooting up computers; toss sticky cameras (that will make either weird alien noises, or even purr like a kitten for surrounding attack dogs); pilot air-drones that can both detonate and send electric shock; stealth neck-slice or snap-mare foes to sleep; and even light up guards with their own explosive remote drones.
Being stealthy is very healthy!
I only peeked into the woman’s shower once, ALL RIGHT?!?
Finally, Splinter Cell just wouldn’t be Blacklist without playing the same cat-and-mouse games with enemies — with your split-screen buddy, online girlfriend, or vengeful grandma. The campaign offers four option 4E Briggs Missions (running and rocketeering), which can be be played either open-sandbox style or actual co-op. There’s more from the Four Echelon crew, with the hacker Charlie’s enemy wave mission, or ops-manager Grim’s ghosting requests. Better yet, is the return of Spies vs. Mercs, where players can go 2 vs. 2 via original Xbox and PS2’s Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow or 4 vs. 4, which is new to the series. Basically, you go and hack the terminals and your friends or online enemies try to mow you down. Seeing how I suck at multiplayer COD and enjoy being very stealthy (Assassin’s Creed, Far Cry 3 and Dishonored are just a few of my favorites), there’s going to be plenty of hours spent on this mode…even after I pick up an Xbox One.
Speaking of next-gen, it’s not hard to see why Spies vs. Mercs was the most popular news concerning SC: Blacklist coming out of this past June’s E3. With Ubisoft doing their damnedest to show off their higher resolution tyrants, Watch_Dogs, AC4, The Division, and The Crew at the conference, the new-and-somewhat-improved Splinter Cell just had to take a backseat. But, if you’re like me and miss a good ol’ game of cat n’ mouse, or just the original stealthiness of Splinter Cell (2002) and Chaos Theaory (2005), the Blacklist package may be worthy of not only the attention of the company line, but yours, too.
Surprise.
Splinter Cell:Blacklist, released on the Xbox 360, PS3, PC, and Wii-U platforms, is in stores now.
3.5 (out of 5) Bibles = Worth a buy, if you’re a spy!
Micro vs. Ubi — which one came up on the softer side of the shell?
Before we get to that debate, the two gaming powerhouse press conferences of the day sandwiched the fan favorite showing of Electronic Arts, whom with the likes of UFC, Madden 25 and FIFA 14, prove entirely uncapable of “soft.”
“Corn on the…” never looked so good.
We won’t forget Sony, either. GodHatesGeeks has both The Christian and the Monsignor Mau on the Playstation scene tonight (to which I’ll hopefully be too busy toying around with Saints Row IV), and we’ll have another cool chat on that much-anticipated media briefing.
As for this first morning of the Electronic Entertainment Expo, it’s been a dichotomy of wonders. There was a surprising boatload of childish platformers and far-from-surprising entree of extraordinary multiplayer shooters.
Imagine which side got this Reverend’s panties in a bunch.
MICRO-NOTSO-SOFT
Let’s just get to it: Titanfall was the winner of Day 1. You knew going into the day that EA would inch out more from their Ignite engine (cont. from the Xbox One conference), that a new Halo would be announced (Spielberg not included), and that Ubisoft would continue to push their top Dogs (bring ’em out already!). While I’m hesitant to give Microsoft even a B grade for their presentation, the company did present the most impressive new IP of the day. And, remember that mystery Game Informer cover I was talking about?
If you’re not already blown away by that footage’s epic scope, then I probably know what you’re thinking: Pacific Rim. Sure, those Titans look like Guillermo’s jaegers. Uh-huh, it’s Black Ops with a splash of Halo. Even still, having the seamless comfort of going in and out of your ginormous mancannon in mid-combat is pretty stellar. And Titanfall‘s juicy mechs also pack the Source engine that Valve used for their zombie hit, Left 4 Dead. More so, the Microsoft crowd-pleaser already has some industry peeps labeling this one “the COD killer.” The tag may actually not be too far-fetched, if you consider that many of Respawn’s key developers came from (former Duty-devs) Infinity Ward.
Now, all our asses gotta do is wait ’til Spring.
Titans closed the show — and Solid Snake opened it. Xbox has never had the luxury of a Metal Gear Solid, this side of a remastered HD collection. That changed this morning. And by opening up the media briefing with MGS V: The Phantom Pain proved that Microsoft wasn’t effing around this time. While their conference rained in with extreme highs (Dead Rising 3, Ryse: Son of Rome), and lows (a soundless Crimson Dragon, Project Spark), their presentation displayed the power of all those — what many deemed unnecessary — toys and functions (i.e. Kinect, Smartglass), almost making them imperative to next-gen gaming.
Personally, I’m excited to see where all of this is going to go. $499.99, to my best assumption, is about 100 more bones than anyone is interested in paying– especially if you’re paying that 8% CA sales tax at Best Buy — but it’s not entirely unaffordable. So long as the games remain $60 and we’re charged the same monthly fee for the current Xbox Live, it may be more than well worth it.
I’d rather pay taxes. Shit.
As for the 360, gamers really shouldn’t lie to themselves: this thing is on its way out. Going by the morning conference, there were measly few minutes spent chatting up their current system. The 360 spotlighted one of the most unimpressive conference showings to date: World of Tanks, which just has a god-awful name in itself, another one of those free-to-play built port that just keeps on dragging me through the mud. To top that all off, there was an uninteresting Max cartoon platformer.
NEXT!
And that’s what Microsoft thinks of their current-gen. Of course, Game-of-the-Year candidate Grand Theft Auto V is coming out in September, along with the exciting comedy-RPG South Park: The Stick of Truth (Ubisoft claims a holiday release for this one), so not all is dreadful.
Speaking of Ubisoft.. just what the hell happened out there today? Ubi’s host, Aisha Taylor, was more interested in getting her 7-foot freak on, than exploring the importance of arguably the most important gaming company in the industry today, and trailer retreads of Watch Dogs, Assassin’s Creed IV: Blackflag and Splinter Cell: Blacklist were also on display. After watching the wonder of Metal Gear earlier this morning, it’s no wonder my Playstation pals always gave us shit for loving Sam Fisher. There’s no doubt that Blacklist will be cool; but it’s a little hard to knock down an audience that saw most of this shit a year ago. Same with Watch Dogs. The game is going to be amazing. But it was last year’s surpise, so.. yeah.
Then, after showing us the above pretty trailer, you Ubi’s hit us off with some Blackflag “gameplay.” No, no. That footage was clearly just another trailer, no matter how beautiful in scope. And yes, indeed; Assassin’s Creed IV looks very very beautiful.
Rabbids Invasion. Just Dance 2014. Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare???
Are you kidding me!?
Okay, I know I’m a hardcore gaming buffoon, but I like my variety in my hours spent with the stick too. I understand there are other audiences out there, and the best thing to do at any of these conferences is to appeal to the corporate world victims (women and children). But, seriously. Garden Warfare? Thankfully, you guys hit us off with a couple of electric IPs out there today, which may have just made up for all the awkward!
Another tactical shooter and another damn racer. But’s all good! I’ll stick with it. Both games look good. Mighty good. Especially, after watching the earlier footage from both Forza 5 Motorsport and Need 4 Speed: Rivals, you Ub’s may have gotten their number with… The Crew. With what sounds like another generic dubstep-inspired gang-racer — exactly what it looked like at first glance — the makers of Driver: San Francisco are giving this Burnout-like the MMO 3rd degree. I know I complained about MMO’s earlier (and just about every other day in my life), but this is an element unheard of for a racer. Having that ability to battle against anyone else in the country is damn cray. You also have the ability to customize your whip or truck from the bottom to the top.
STAR POWER
Speaking from “The Bottom to the Top,” the hell was my man Drizzy doing over at EA?
Cashing in, that’s who! And who’s to blame him for sporting some endorsement for the FIFA brand. While there wasn’t a whole lot of actual gameplay footage shown of anything during the Electronic Arts conference — which makes me a little less angry I took the wrong way on the Metro Dash — both FIFA 14 and Madden 25 look impressive. But that’s it. Remember, this year (or winter 2014 or whatever) is going to be the Guinee Pig Year for EA Sports. They’re using a brand new engine, and aiming to do things they’ve never done before.
Along with the huge, albeit unsurprising announcement of Star Wars: Battlefront (yippee!), EA was also smart to present Battlefield 4 as a literal COD: BO2 clone; only because that style is really all the online peeps want to see. The graphics don’t look all that much better than that of the 360 and PS4, but the team coordination in the multiplayer, especially from the strategic smartglass function, was pretty wild. Though, if you’re an FPS multiplayer live junkie, you mind as well go and starting digging on this…
Ahh… Tom Clancy. This guy just won’t go now will he? While Rainbow Six: Patriots has enigmatically, as well as literally, been put off the shelves (it’s transferring towards next-gen dynamics, of course), Tom Clancy’s The Division is Ubisoft’s new-found prize. The game clearly looks great, and unclearly has a genre.
It’s online, it’s an RPG, but not an MMO.
It’s a shooter, it’s made by Massive, but not an MMO.
Uh, yeah, right! Either or, The Division was a close 2nd to Snake and the Titans from taking this damn Press Day thing. The graphics are ultimately superb, showing every nuance and detail left in a cold cold world. The HUDs look superbly interactive; the audio creeps over to a distant eerie; the story a bit chilling. Again, like BF4, someone can mess around on their smart phone as a drone. There’s homing grenades. The communication between characters is fairly exciting, showcasing nothing more than a creepy nonchalant outlook on a lost, pandemic New York City.
I can’t wait.
Microsoft’s E3 Press Conference = 4 (out of 5) Bibles. Games, games, games!Ubisoft & Electronic Arts = 3 (out of 5) Bibles. For EA, it’s more of the same we saw at the Xbox One conf less than a month ago. Though, the Battlefront announcement was exciting, as well as the addition of Dragon Age. As for Ubi, it’s more or less the same show as 2013, with WD, SCB, & AC4BF perhaps overstaying their welcome. Time to release these, fellas. And why all the awkward, corny stuff? Thank you for Division, though.
More on all of these games throughout the week…except GTA5, of course.
We’re kidding. We just know how to handle “the merchandise”, knawmsayins? The GHG panel is back to discuss games, games, and games…and the little game we play called Booth Babe Hunt. No, we really talk about games. Promise…
“The” Christian Seufert: Bungie said that it is going to have gameplay footage (thank God!) for Destiny. Are you guys excited for Destiny? I think, judging by the “Law of the Jungle” trailer, that it looks like a Star Wars type shooter (in location and style at least), which is more than okay by me. I’m not really a FPS fan, but Destiny seems to have the scope and detail that it would take to get me to love it. The co-op “wolf pack” theme is pretty much as cool as it gets.
“Monsignor” Travis Moody: You’re not a FPS fan, yet you are the man who wrote the most extensive Bioshock Infinitereview in its history?
Chris: haha.. Like I said, it was an exception. Just a very very strong exception. Call of Duty and Halo have never really been my kind of games. There’s a strong chance that after Infinite I have become a fan.
Moody: Destiny definitely joins Watch Dogs on the shortlist of “Must See” games..and potential GOY for the next-gen. It’s a slithering combo of FPS and MMO.. and, yes, anything Star Wars-related and a combo of Halo, is a winner to me. Customizing/creating your own character class is definitely a huge part of that excitement. Oh, and hi, Gary. Mr. Lurker. Care to say something? (Even if it’s just a “fuck you, Moody!” I’ll take it!)
“Cardinal” Gary Brooks: Lol. I’m dying to get my hands on Destiny! It does have a Star Wars feel to it, which totally gives Travis a chubby! I think Watch Dogs will be a letdown. Sure hope I’m wrong though.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jS1BM9XRgvw
Chris: Hah! I’m curious to see how the MMO aspect of Destiny fits in, considering Bungie has kind of avoided giving it the MMO title, specifically.
Moody: Why do you think Watch Dogs will be a let down, Gary?
Gary: Correct me if I’m wrong — and I know you will, Moody — but didn’t Dogs start out as a True Crime game and then morphed into what is is now? The True Crime franchise has always been a little underwhelming albeit fun, which make me think…
Moody: That was Sleeping Dogs, man(!!), which was actually one of the finest surprises at last year’s E3 and ended up a pretty damn good game.
Gary: Okay, okay. Maybe…I’m just more excited for the Black Flag after playing Assassin’sCreed 3, though I’ve tried to enjoy all of the other previous games in the Creed franchise and, yet, seemingly lost interest about 1/3 of the way in. Other Ubisoft goodness goes with Splinter Cell, since Blacklist looks to push things to the next level. I love stealth games and Sam Fisher has always been a close second to the “King of all Stealth,” Snake Solid.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uNXhBRY-p8
Moody: Fair enough. Splinter Cell is intriguing to me, primarily since I haven’t played the series since its inception (the original Xbox, 2004). “Just when I thought I was out…”, right? Christian, agreed. I’ve never been a fan of MMO’s (who has the time?), hence why I stayed away from Defiance (and thank the holy heavens I did)…though the new Marvel Heroes and DCUO “Crisis Origins” DLC seems pretty sick. But, then I’d have to give up my “X-Files” and “Buffy” marathons and I’m really all-set doing that. And, then there’s an Elder Scrolls Online game.. which.. really scares the bejesus out of me. Saw the demo last year, and I think even a priveleged man who played the game 20 hours of the day wouldn’t even be able to finish it in a decade. Those games are pretty ridiculous.
Chris: Yeah, they don’t really end and are devoid, usually, of any kind of driving force (plot), so I usually avoid them as well. Wow! Elder Scrolls games are like that I guess. It’s almost scary to think about how big of a game Elder Scrolls Online is going to be, but I’m still somehow looking forward to it, just to keep playing in that “world”. It doesn’t look like the MMO aspect of it will be too invasive either, so I have high hopes.
Moody: I’m a lot more interested in Bethesda’s The Evil Within and the possible — highly possible — announcement of Fallout 4!!! Imagine a Fallout game on the new consoles? I can’t…my imagination doesn’t run that high. I’m thinking that F4 may very well be the Game Informer “Mystery Cover Game” like Gears of War: Judgment was last year, especially since Rainbow Six: Patriots already blessed the front of their magazine. That’s another interesting game that Ubisoft could throw right at us – as if they don’t already have enough.
Gary: Oh, I share much enthusiasm for all things horror! A game that terrifies and gives you that feeling of dread is a rare thing these days. The Evil Within looks to do just that. I’m ready to turn off the lights and sink my teeth into that shit!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpbPh6K1rdE
Chris: You – would! The return of both Fallout and Rainbow Six would/will be intense. Though I’m scared for Patriots’s future — and no, Tom, Bill and the boys will be fine — because the title was just removed from preorders on the Gamestop website! Also, I do not join in Gary’s enthusiasm for The Evil Within. Horror games have killed me ever since I played Silent Hill on the PS1 in the dark. It terrified me for life. And T.E.W. looks so incredibly scary, perhaps making it an instant success on that element alone.
Gary: It does…and who has time for these MMO’s unless you’re a 13-year old riddled with acne! They may turn out to be a dying breed — MMO’s that is.
Moody: Ha ha! MMO’s will never go away for whatever horrifying reason.. but man, slapping on Marvel characters has me — and I know Lance Paul — the wee bit interested.. As far as Fallout is concerned, here are the latest developments — which are basically none.
“Reverend” Joe: Rivera: Lots of people wanting to do away with Karma.
Chris: Really anything with superheroes will make any game more fun. Though I agree that not a lot of games do a great job of giving you that “feeling of dread” these days, so I get the enthusiasm, Gary. It’s a game I’d like to give a try — during the day!
Lance Paul “The Apostle”: What no news on GameCube 2??? Just a kid. The PS4 stats do look nice but MS still grabs me with the gamer points. As someone who has invested time in his nerd street cred, and the official news that the One will carry over your score, I will be purchasing a One out the door. MS hasn’t failed me yet!
Gary: Since I was too busy having a life earlier, boys, I’ll comment on some of your earlier topics as well. Now, as far as which system I’ll buy? Well…both. I’ve got to have my Playstation fix and my Xbox fix! I’m very choosy when it comes to games and I often put my systems in different rooms to force myself to play one or the other. That being said, I’ll always pick my PS over my Xbox. I think Playstation has better exclusives (i.e. Uncharted, God of War, Killzone, and Infamous), and I like the controller much, much better. As gamers, I think we all care a lot less about our systems controlling our TV or starting up our Netflix or playing our music or even surfing the web and more about the capabilities of each system and what the games will look and play like. Every generation has pushed us further into realism and our ability to do many different and new things we only dreamed about.
Moody: Uh…DEADPOOL!
Joe: The “Merc with the Mouth”, mofos!!!
Chris: Totally forgot about Deadpool!!
Moody: The game comes out this month, too. So, we’ll all be able to play it on the sets surrounding the floor..and Pool already appears a lot better than the somewhat decent Amazing Spider-Man game from last year. It looks hilarious. Daniel Way wrote the story (which looks like an improvement over his just above-average run on the character), but the animations, weapon upgrades and OF COURSE quips look great! And, speaking of Marvel, what about Lego Marvel Heroes? We can’t see Spidey team up with Wolvie and the Avengers in the movies — but we sure can in the Land of Lego
Joe: Oh, Stealth Pizza! It looks like they went full retard when developing it. Like Saints Row full retard!!! I can see it, fun team-up!
Lance: I’m actually excited for it. I loved the other Lego games. Pure mindless entertainment and enjoyment.
Moody: Saints Row 4! I still haven’t played 3, which I keep hearing from my man Kev that I need to! Shoot me now! Mindless? Some of those damn Lego levels are a hard puzzle, bro. lol
Lance: Plus Ryan Reynolds will break the 4th wall and give you hella shit if you mess up or die.
Joe: Travis, jump on the SR3 bandwagon all ready!!! Back when I had my vlog show, I never shut up about SR3.
Lance: Thank God I missed that show.
Chris: Saints Row 3 was incredible man! I feel like 4 is gonna be even more insane!
Joe: Like I said, full retard!!!
Moody: Dammit, I better start now (while there’s been a rush of crappy games out) or never.
Gary: Never go full retard!!!
Chris: Saints Row is the exception to that rule.. haha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQTt6bUZrSU
Joe: SR4 had me at Dubstep gun!
Moody: Just beat Knife of Dunwall! (oops, forgot this was about E3…)
Lance: Dubstep gun! ha
Moody: Haha @Gary! And, you know, something scares me — besides Joe going full retard — where is 2K in all of this? They had an outstanding year last year and, so far, this year. Beyond outstanding.
Chris: I read somewhere that they aren’t showing up to E3 this year! Hugely unhappy about that.
Moody: Borderlands 2,Bioshock Infinite: Arguably the best games of 2012 and (so far) 2013, respectively. Along with their dynamite NBA 2K series — which I’m still paying and closing in on the finals — I guess the studio was just like, “Damn, we owned all y’all last year AND this year. Peace, E3.”
Chris: Right, they killed it last year, so maybe they just don’t have as much for the holiday season so they’re deciding to not underwhelm. But, if they were going, they’d showcase some more NBA, some Bioshock DLC probably, and XCOM: Enemy Unknown. Not as much “crazy good” stuff as last year – though B.I. was absent from E3 and look how that turned out…
Moody: Yup, didn’t matter. Man, I’ll take a BI: DLC!
Joe: So, we all agree 2K took last year, who do you guys think will take this year?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOQYQ9JXxXM
Moody: If i get time, I can’t lie: Wii U’s Smash Bros. and Mario Kart might be cool with “PS3/360” level graphics.
Lance: What do we know about the Star Wars game?
Moody: Jose, it’s going to be extremely difficult to defeat Ubisoft, especially if they kick all our teeth in with something in addition to their already great line up.
Chris: Ubisoft has to take it this year. I mean, Assassins Creed, Watch Dogs, Splinter Cell, South Park. They got this…
Moody: Lancelot, we know nothing but rumors of a Battlefront. EA’s press conference is bound to be insane — and I’m invited!
Joe: I was thinking Ubisoft too, just wanted to hear it from you guys :$
Moody: Though, believe it or not.. and this is going to sound CRAZY.. But, look out for Microsoft!! Seriously, if they can grab everyone’s attention from the TV NETFLIX TV SMARTGLASS TV MOVIES TV FANTASY FOOTBALL TV stuff and hit us off with more of their new next-gen intellectual properties.. they might just have enough. Forza 5, Ryse, Quantum Break..
Gary: Sony could very well do the same thing! Players of this generation should splurge and own both!
Moody: But Gary, you can because you’re the rich bartender! (Says the practically unemployed guy with the big screen LCD, Google Nexus, Samsung Galaxy S4, etc.) So, alright fellas, let’s wrap this up. Name ONE game we haven’t mentioned yet that we’d love to see/play at E3. GO!
Joe: The new Amnesia from Frictional Games. The first one — from 2011 — scared me so bad I think I saw some white streaks in my hair.
Moody: I’m just scared you named a PC game.
Joe: Moody, if you played Amnesia, you won’t stop until you shit yourself.
Moody: I just can’t get myself to play anything with a keyboard, except hookie with actress chicks on Instagram.
Chris: Haha! Schwing!! My pick has to be inFamous: Second Son.
Gary: Metal Gear Solid 5 looks sick!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yuC1h7LGKc
Moody: Agreed.. but what’s with the 2 MGS Five games? There’s a “Phantom Pain” and also a “Ground Heroes” going on..
Chris: Apparently they’re two sections of the same game or something like that?
Moody: Epic! How about WWE 2K14!!?
Joe: Good choice!!!
Chris: Ooooo good one!
Gary: Wrestling! Travis! Of course… I think EA is going to kill it with the next-gen UFC 14, since they already have that great Fight Night engine locked in. And you know I don’t give 2 shits about sports games unless I’m punching someone in the face!
Moody: WWE 12 was great, 13 improved a little, but failed with the amount of cutscenes during Universe mode.. and with 2K taking over the franchise, it’s sure to rock! Maybe that’s the secret 2K will have for us at E3, after all. Hey, you guys realize something? We just did an entire E3 preview without any mention of Call of Duty: Ghosts. So… there. We’re setting records already.
Joe: Yeah I’m kinda shocked!
Chris: HAHAHA Wow! It totally slipped my mind! I think there are just too many other games I care about more..
Joe: I like COD, but I talk about it so much already
Lance: My pick? Barbie’s Dreamland, of course! No, lol… Batman: Arkham Origins. We now get to play the bat before he learns to fly!
Close Encounters of the Slade Kind.
Moody: Oh wow.. That’s insane how that game slipped our minds! Was it because Rocksteady aren’t back as the development team? Either way, I just wish there was a Superman version of this game – if this one’s a success maybe WB Montreal will start working on it — but who’s to complain.
Joe: I wanna damn Nightwing game — he deserves one, dammit!!!
Lance: Yeah AO will be missing the Joker though *sulks*. A Nightwing game would be crazy cool.
Moody: Nightwing over the Man of Tomorrow? Give me a break, buds. Oh yeah. There was one oh-so-very-important thing we missed… What about the Booth Babes? Isn’t that why you guys are all scrambling to get in E3 in the first place?
Lance: Half of those girls “working” E3 are girls I’ve dated, so I’d rather avoid…
Joe: And half of those girls “working” E3 are girls I’ve dated, as in “slept with.”
Chris: Baha. Booth babes are absolutely the only reason to go! Video games are stupid.
Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to God Hates Geeks‘ 2nd year of E3 coverage! I’m more than excited to tell you that in just a year alone our “blogazine” has grown to ginormous numbers on social media.. thanks to you and all the slippery facebook whoring our entire fam does oh-so-very well. While I’m currently the only loser in the congregation fully registered for next week’s Electronic Entertainment Expo (LA Convention Center, June 10-13), we have 4 of the nuttiest gaming geeks ready to shuffle the deck on June 9th with hopes of landing their asses into the World’s Greatest Video Game Conference.
The Good News: If Moody gets some effing help this year, I’ll be able to drink more.
Drink and play.. that’s all day. Either way, as many of you all know — and all effin’ hyperbole aside — this is going to be the biggest E3 yet, simply because of the arrival of our newest next-generation consoles, the Playstation 4 and the Xbox One.
All these people are lining up to play.. Pikman? Again?
Are you excited?! Other than that handsome British man who’s faster than a speeding bullet, up in the sky and all that.. there’s been nothing else getting the juices flowing like E3. So, our first question is.. aww shit..
PS4 or XBOX One?
Go.
“The” Christian Seufert: Woah woah woah, what about Wii U!? Ha! I keed, I keed. PS4 for sure, assuming they don’t bone us on the price. The specs looks solid (although I wish I could say the box, but Sony had to go and be a prude and not let us see the box) and they’re gamer focused, so as of now that’s an easier decision. I’m gonna feel like an uber-nerd saying this right now, but Square Enix announcing a new Final Fantasy made the decision even easier. And it’s a PS4 exclusive. I love the FF franchise, and if Square Enix shows up and shows off like I hope they can, that makes my decision to buy a PS4 that much easier. Sentiment goes a long way. (Kingdom Hearts 3 at some point wouldn’t hurt, either. Wink wink.) That being said, Xbox One is such a close second that a few really badass exclusives could sway my decision. But pre-E3, PS4.
“Reverend” Joe Rivera: Hmm. Well, according to the latest article in Gamespot (if you click here), video game analyst Michael Pachter believes that “the Xbox One will retail for $400, while the Playstation 4 will debut at $350.” The Xbox 360 launched at around $300-$400, while the PS3 launched at $500-$600. The prices in which Pachter are predicting seem absolutely reasonable, though I would not be surprised if the price for the Xbox One is higher with all that entertainment flexibility. But, what does everyone else predict?
“Monsignor” Travis Moody: Holy affordable, Batwoman!! I said $500, with the possibility of 600… I now might be able to purchase at launch. If this price range sustains, I’ll be one very pleasant geek.
Easy choice: I’ll take the one with a control pad, 2 menu buttons, 4 action buttons, 4 trigger buttons, and 2 sticks. Yup!
Joe: Honestly — with all of the capabilities the Xbox One will have — I’m almost betting that you could be right, Travis!
Moody: With that said, does the price change your purchasing perception? Give us an answer, Joe, what system you buying?
Chris: Wow! $350 for the PS4 kind of solidifies that as my choice when they both launch. Honestly, both of those prices are an incredible relief all around from what I assumed we were going to get hit with; the $500-$600 that you mentioned, Moody. Do you guys know if there are any predictions about the price of games going up or not?
Joe: According to Pachter, if that’s really the case (and let’s hope so) then both Sony and Microsoft still have my interest. It’s just a question of which will I purchase first? Your guys’ thoughts? I think the games will still be in the $60 range.
Moody: I’ve never had a PS2 or PS3.. Ever since Halo 1, I’ve been Xbox all the way. Even the worst press conference since New York Jets coach Rich Kotite tried to explain his 1-15 season, can’t sway me to the “other” side. And, since I didn’t even cover the PS4 announcement back in Feb, it’s quite obvious, and, hell, exactly why I hired you guys! I’m sure the game prices would stay the same.. can’t imagine any different. Look, a lot of times you’re spending $80-100 on a game without realizing it anyway, ala DLC (BTW, “The Knife is Dunwall” is pretty fun, as I’m playing it as I type — thanks, Billy Mau!).
Chris: See, I was always Playstation, up until PS3 set the price way too high for a high school kid to afford; so, to be able to get back to Playstation again.. is wicked exciting. I love my ‘box, but Sony has me back if they keep that price. Would anything “sway” you to the Sony side, Travis (and Jose, if you are as well an Xbox guy)?
Moody: Naw, I really don’t think so. I know our own Gary Brooks owns 2 systems (3, if you include the Dreamcast he still can’t put away) and Joe is interested in both as well.. but I just can’t find the time. So, like an Armenian girl in the hood, I’m siding with comfort. A lot of the features at the press conference didn’t titillate me like they may have to someone getting into video games for the firs, or at least a long, time, but I know Microsoft has been putting out great games. Nothing will change there. Was there definitely some overreaction to the conference? I’m sure as shit that it wasn’t any different when the Xbox 360 launched. And, man, it’s just hard for me to fuck with those PS controls!
Clearly, the only man who could ever lead Nintendo back to victory!
Joe: It’s kind of interesting for me. After I was pretty much done with Nintendo (kinda had a strong loyalty to them — woe is me), I really wanted to go the Sony route mostly because I really got into the Kingdom Hearts franchise in college. But I ended up going the Xbox route, and not only because of Halo. I was a Conker fan, but for him to come back is only a pipe dream! (Hahaha) But, oh what the hey.. I love me some Uncharted, and God of War was always fun; so yeah, I really have an interest in both. Plus, and I’m not saying that I’m turning my back on Microsoft, I still want the Xbox One, but was I the only one who got slightly annoyed by all the constant “TV this and TV that!?”
Chris: The TV talk was really annoying during the presentation, but as time has passed, I’ve kind of logged in my head the amount of time I use my Xbox for stuff like that (Netflix, Hulu, HBOgo, etc.) and then I realize I’m actually really excited about what the X1 can do. What worries me about the TV and all the other “take over your living room” stuff is that if it’s always on won’t it use up a lot of RAM, making games (especially of the openworld sort) slower and more glitchy?
Moody: I’m trying to give Microsoft the benefit of the doubt here. I’m sure their programming geniuses alloted enough power in the Xbox One processors to allow users to do multiple things at once, without any signs of slowing. Otherwise, the entire conference was just a big waste of time! (Though for 75% it was anyway…) Regardless, let’s not veer off track and turn this into discussion into a review of that conference, because in exactly one week Microsoft will have another one at 9 am! And, I’m sure their goal will be GAMES, GAMES, GAMES. I mean– it better. And you know when it comees to games, both Ubisoft and Electronic Arts will do nothing but deliver an onslaught of them. What do you expect from these 2 major companies (who each have their own conferences on Monday, in addition to those from Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo)? What are you most excited to see from them?
Joe: Ubisoft — definitely Assassin’s Creed 4: Black Flag and Watch Dogs have caught my eye. EA? The next-gen Need for Speed: Rivals.
Chris: Right!? Ubisoft has a couple of games I’m over-the-top enthused for: the aforementioned AC4 and Splinter Cell: Blacklist. I was a bit underwhelmed by the last Assassins Creed, so I’m really hoping this one recaptures me, which it should, considering pirates not-named-Keith-Richards are involved! Gameplay on both Blacklist and Black Flag (hey, a pattern!) should happen, and would be great to see on the next gen hardware. Now, if EA came out and gave us straight up plans for a new Star Wars game — Battlefront, perhaps? — I would shoot through the roof with joy. They can (and hopefully will) do Star Wars right.
Moody: A Star Wars next-gen live demo, of any sorts, would be.. on par with having a whiskey neat with Harrison Ford. They have a lot to prove with Battlefield 4, too. Going the EA Sports side, Madden improved tremendously last year for the XBOX, but yet still failed in the execution of their Connected Careers mode. I’m a little worried that EA won’t be able to figure out their new Infinity engine’s full capabilities quite yet, as there’s sure to be a few growing pains on their sports line across the board. The Xbox One UFC 14 does look insane though, and it’ll be interesting to see if they can improve upon an already-fan favorite title from THQ, aside from better graphics. You’d think the new control stick could make submission transitions that much easier.
Chris: Agreed. I think that was the only weak point in the last UFC game (which I am playing at the moment, haha). The new engine will be especially cool to see in action in a UFC game not generically named “MMA”. I’m also crossing my fingers that they get NBA Live 2014 right. I miss good NBA games. Also, where is NHL? You guys see anything about an NHL game at all?
Moody: Wait. WHAT!?!! Do you not play NBA 2K at all? For several years now — particularly within the past couple — they’ve cleaned the streets with great basketball games. Aside from FIFA (which 13 was basically a duplicate of 12), NBA 2K was easily the best sports game on the market. NHL 14 won’t be coming to next-gen this year, which, honestly, I’m giving EASports credit for focusing on just a handful of games with this new hardware.
Chris: Yeah? I haven’t really liked them to be honest. Maybe I just don’t like NBA games in general then. I’ll have to go back and play it again, huh? Hah! Yeah I guess that’s a good idea on their part. NHL is a hard game to get right, so I would much rather prefer to wait and get a complete game then them half ass it at all.
Moody: Agree. And going back to Ubisoft, I got to witness a ton of South Park: The Stick of Truth. Too bad drinking scotch isn’t a paying job or Kenny’s dad would be a millionaire! I think I’d rather play this than the next Call of Duty…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4zJCD8Izb8
Chris: I was literally just about to bring South Park up! I’m too excited for it. Same. Just to have Matt and Trey behind the story of an RPG is incredible. We will definitely see a solid demo of it at E3, hopefully more than you have already witnessed, Moody.
Moody: It’s the most hilarious game ever. And it’s a medieval RPG! I mean, really! No, curse the demos. It’s time to get our hands on the actual game! But, with the sale of THQ, Ubisoft is taking a little more time with this one. Who knows what the situation is, at this point…
Joe: Isn’t it kind of in the vein of Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic? I mean, that’s what drew me to it, plus it’s basically fucking Peter Jackson’s South Park.
Moody: Haha. Same with Watch Dogs. They had a private room demo last year — one of the few I missed — and they haven’t shown much since. All I can think of is, like, The Matrix meets Grand Theft Auto.
Chris: It looks like an insanely complex version of that show “Person of Interest”, but with GTA violence to back it up. I expect to lose many days to Watch Dogs when it comes out.
Joe: I couldn’t agree more, Dogs looks ridiculously awesome from the little that I’ve seen and heard. Very GTA with a little bit of an AC element due the use of stealth and parkour, which I’ve always enjoyed! I really believe that it’s gonna be a huge hit!
Moody: Rockstar was absent last year (the studios and certainly not the energy drink, which’ll serve as this parish’s holy water), and Grand Theft Auto V comes out in September. They honestly don’t need to show up at E3, since GTA V will still shatter game-selling records — perhaps blowing by even Madden and Call of Duty. But, if we get to play it — which seems probable (and perhaps impossible, as I think of all the unbearably long lines)…
Joe: We should DEFINITELY have a post-E3 discussion on GTA V if any of you lucky dicks get to play it, even if I’m not gonna be there…. “Dying to know!” I’m sure there will be plenty more dicks on GTA V similar to what you’d see at websites like www.watchmygf.sex.
Chris: I know they said they aren’t showing this year either. Or i think specifically they “have no plans” for E3, so I doubt we’ll see it. Rockstar is too cool for school when it comes to E3, and rightfully so since GTA V is gonna destroy the competition when it comes out, anyway. Somehow, NOT going to E3 helps GTA V by making everyone talk about them.
Moody: Yeah, I wouldn’t show it. Why bother? Like you said in your review of Bioshock Infinite: GTA V is clearly the only game in the current gen that has a chance of rivaling BI for Game of the Year. Chick-chick, POW.
Stay tuned for the second and — we promise — final part of our PrE3 discussion when we’re joined by “The Apostle” Lance Paul and “Cardinal” Gary Brooks!
