PrE3: Parish Picks & Pre-dicks (Part Deux) – Booth Babe Edition.

We’re kidding. We just know how to handle “the merchandise”, knawmsayins? The GHG panel is back to discuss games, games, and games…and the little game we play called Booth Babe Hunt. No, we really talk about games. Promise…


“The” Christian Seufert: Bungie said that it is going to have gameplay footage (thank God!) for Destiny. Are you guys excited for Destiny? I think, judging by the “Law of the Jungle” trailer, that it looks like a Star Wars type shooter (in location and style at least), which is more than okay by me. I’m not really a FPS fan, but Destiny seems to have the scope and detail that it would take to get me to love it. The co-op “wolf pack” theme is pretty much as cool as it gets.

“Monsignor” Travis Moody: You’re not a FPS fan, yet you are the man who wrote the most extensive Bioshock Infinite review in its history?

Chris: haha.. Like I said, it was an exception. Just a very very strong exception. Call of Duty and Halo have never really been my kind of games. There’s a strong chance that after Infinite I have become a fan.

Moody: Destiny definitely joins Watch Dogs on the shortlist of “Must See” games..and potential GOY for the next-gen. It’s a slithering combo of FPS and MMO.. and, yes, anything Star Wars-related and a combo of Halo, is a winner to me. Customizing/creating your own character class is definitely a huge part of that excitement. Oh, and hi, Gary. Mr. Lurker. Care to say something? (Even if it’s just a “fuck you, Moody!” I’ll take it!)

“Cardinal” Gary Brooks: Lol. I’m dying to get my hands on Destiny! It does have a Star Wars feel to it, which totally gives Travis a chubby! I think Watch Dogs will be a letdown. Sure hope I’m wrong though.

Chris: Hah! I’m curious to see how the MMO aspect of Destiny fits in, considering Bungie has kind of avoided giving it the MMO title, specifically.

Moody: Why do you think Watch Dogs will be a let down, Gary?

Gary: Correct me if I’m wrong — and I know you will, Moody — but didn’t Dogs start out as a True Crime game and then morphed into what is is now? The True Crime franchise has always been a little underwhelming albeit fun, which make me think…

Moody: That was Sleeping Dogs, man(!!), which was actually one of the finest surprises at last year’s E3 and ended up a pretty damn good game.

Gary: Okay, okay. Maybe…I’m just more excited for the Black Flag after playing Assassin’s Creed 3, though I’ve tried to enjoy all of the other previous games in the Creed franchise and, yet, seemingly lost interest about 1/3 of the way in. Other Ubisoft goodness goes with Splinter Cell, since Blacklist looks to push things to the next level. I love stealth games and Sam Fisher has always been a close second to the “King of all Stealth,” Snake Solid.

Moody: Fair enough. Splinter Cell is intriguing to me, primarily since I haven’t played the series since its inception (the original Xbox, 2004). “Just when I thought I was out…”, right? Christian, agreed. I’ve never been a fan of MMO’s (who has the time?), hence why I stayed away from Defiance (and thank the holy heavens I did)…though the new Marvel Heroes and DCUO “Crisis Origins” DLC seems pretty sick. But, then I’d have to give up my “X-Files” and “Buffy” marathons and I’m really all-set doing that. And, then there’s an Elder Scrolls Online game.. which.. really scares the bejesus out of me. Saw the demo last year, and I think even a priveleged man who played the game 20 hours of the day wouldn’t even be able to finish it in a decade. Those games are pretty ridiculous.

Chris: Yeah, they don’t really end and are devoid, usually, of any kind of driving force (plot), so I usually avoid them as well. Wow! Elder Scrolls games are like that I guess. It’s almost scary to think about how big of a game Elder Scrolls Online is going to be, but I’m still somehow looking forward to it, just to keep playing in that “world”. It doesn’t look like the MMO aspect of it will be too invasive either, so I have high hopes.

Moody: I’m a lot more interested in Bethesda’s The Evil Within and the possible — highly possible — announcement of Fallout 4!!! Imagine a Fallout game on the new consoles? I can’t…my imagination doesn’t run that high. I’m thinking that F4 may very well be the Game Informer “Mystery Cover Game” like Gears of War: Judgment was last year, especially since Rainbow Six: Patriots already blessed the front of their magazine. That’s another interesting game that Ubisoft could throw right at us – as if they don’t already have enough.

Gary: Oh, I share much enthusiasm for all things horror! A game that terrifies and gives you that feeling of dread is a rare thing these days. The Evil Within looks to do just that. I’m ready to turn off the lights and sink my teeth into that shit!

Chris: You – would! The return of both Fallout and Rainbow Six would/will be intense. Though I’m scared for Patriots’s future — and no, Tom, Bill and the boys will be fine — because the title was just removed from preorders on the Gamestop website! Also, I do not join in Gary’s enthusiasm for The Evil Within. Horror games have killed me ever since I played Silent Hill on the PS1 in the dark. It terrified me for life. And T.E.W. looks so incredibly scary, perhaps making it an instant success on that element alone.

Gary: It does…and who has time for these MMO’s unless you’re a 13-year old riddled with acne! They may turn out to be a dying breed — MMO’s that is.

Moody: Ha ha! MMO’s will never go away for whatever horrifying reason.. but man, slapping on Marvel characters has me — and I know Lance Paul — the wee bit interested.. As far as Fallout is concerned, here are the latest developments — which are basically none.

“Reverend” Joe: Rivera: Lots of people wanting to do away with Karma.

Chris: Really anything with superheroes will make any game more fun. Though I agree that not a lot of games do a great job of giving you that “feeling of dread” these days, so I get the enthusiasm, Gary. It’s a game I’d like to give a try — during the day!

Lance Paul “The Apostle”: What no news on GameCube 2??? Just a kid. The PS4 stats do look nice but MS still grabs me with the gamer points. As someone who has invested time in his nerd street cred, and the official news that the One will carry over your score, I will be purchasing a One out the door. MS hasn’t failed me yet!

Gary: Since I was too busy having a life earlier, boys, I’ll comment on some of your earlier topics as well. Now, as far as which system I’ll buy? Well…both. I’ve got to have my Playstation fix and my Xbox fix! I’m very choosy when it comes to games and I often put my systems in different rooms to force myself to play one or the other. That being said, I’ll always pick my PS over my Xbox. I think Playstation has better exclusives (i.e. Uncharted, God of War, Killzone, and Infamous), and I like the controller much, much better. As gamers, I think we all care a lot less about our systems controlling our TV or starting up our Netflix or playing our music or even surfing the web and more about the capabilities of each system and what the games will look and play like. Every generation has pushed us further into realism and our ability to do many different and new things we only dreamed about.


Joe: The “Merc with the Mouth”, mofos!!!

Chris: Totally forgot about Deadpool!!

Moody: The game comes out this month, too. So, we’ll all be able to play it on the sets surrounding the floor..and Pool already appears a lot better than the somewhat decent Amazing Spider-Man game from last year. It looks hilarious. Daniel Way wrote the story (which looks like an improvement over his just above-average run on the character), but the animations, weapon upgrades and OF COURSE quips look great! And, speaking of Marvel, what about Lego Marvel Heroes? We can’t see Spidey team up with Wolvie and the Avengers in the movies — but we sure can in the Land of Lego

Joe: Oh, Stealth Pizza! It looks like they went full retard when developing it. Like Saints Row full retard!!! I can see it, fun team-up!

Lance: I’m actually excited for it. I loved the other Lego games. Pure mindless entertainment and enjoyment.

Moody: Saints Row 4! I still haven’t played 3, which I keep hearing from my man Kev that I need to! Shoot me now! Mindless? Some of those damn Lego levels are a hard puzzle, bro. lol

Lance: Plus Ryan Reynolds will break the 4th wall and give you hella shit if you mess up or die.

Joe: Travis, jump on the SR3 bandwagon all ready!!! Back when I had my vlog show, I never shut up about SR3.

Lance: Thank God I missed that show.

Chris: Saints Row 3 was incredible man! I feel like 4 is gonna be even more insane!

Joe: Like I said, full retard!!!

Moody: Dammit, I better start now (while there’s been a rush of crappy games out) or never.

Gary: Never go full retard!!!

Chris: Saints Row is the exception to that rule.. haha

Joe: SR4 had me at Dubstep gun!

Moody: Just beat Knife of Dunwall! (oops, forgot this was about E3…)

Lance: Dubstep gun! ha

Moody: Haha @Gary! And, you know, something scares me — besides Joe going full retard — where is 2K in all of this? They had an outstanding year last year and, so far, this year. Beyond outstanding.

Chris: I read somewhere that they aren’t showing up to E3 this year! Hugely unhappy about that.

Moody: Borderlands 2, Bioshock Infinite: Arguably the best games of 2012 and (so far) 2013, respectively. Along with their dynamite NBA 2K series — which I’m still paying and closing in on the finals — I guess the studio was just like, “Damn, we owned all y’all last year AND this year. Peace, E3.”

Chris: Right, they killed it last year, so maybe they just don’t have as much for the holiday season so they’re deciding to not underwhelm. But, if they were going, they’d showcase some more NBA, some Bioshock DLC probably, and XCOM: Enemy Unknown. Not as much “crazy good” stuff as last year – though B.I. was absent from E3 and look how that turned out…

Moody: Yup, didn’t matter. Man, I’ll take a BI: DLC!

Joe: So, we all agree 2K took last year, who do you guys think will take this year?

Moody: If i get time, I can’t lie: Wii U’s Smash Bros. and Mario Kart might be cool with “PS3/360” level graphics.

Lance: What do we know about the Star Wars game?

Moody: Jose, it’s going to be extremely difficult to defeat Ubisoft, especially if they kick all our teeth in with something in addition to their already great line up.

Chris: Ubisoft has to take it this year. I mean, Assassins Creed, Watch Dogs, Splinter Cell, South Park. They got this…

Moody: Lancelot, we know nothing but rumors of a Battlefront. EA’s press conference is bound to be insane — and I’m invited!

Joe:  I was thinking Ubisoft too, just wanted to hear it from you guys :$

Moody: Though, believe it or not.. and this is going to sound CRAZY.. But, look out for Microsoft!! Seriously, if they can grab everyone’s attention from the TV NETFLIX TV SMARTGLASS TV MOVIES TV FANTASY FOOTBALL TV stuff and hit us off with more of their new next-gen intellectual properties.. they might just have enough. Forza 5, Ryse, Quantum Break..

Gary: Sony could very well do the same thing! Players of this generation should splurge and own both!

Moody: But Gary, you can because you’re the rich bartender! (Says the practically unemployed guy with the big screen LCD, Google Nexus, Samsung Galaxy S4, etc.) So, alright fellas, let’s wrap this up. Name ONE game we haven’t mentioned yet that we’d love to see/play at E3. GO!

Joe: The new Amnesia from Frictional Games. The first one — from 2011 — scared me so bad I think I saw some white streaks in my hair.

Moody: I’m just scared you named a PC game.

Joe: Moody, if you played Amnesia, you won’t stop until you shit yourself.

Moody: I just can’t get myself to play anything with a keyboard, except hookie with actress chicks on Instagram.

Chris: Haha! Schwing!! My pick has to be inFamous: Second Son.

Gary: Metal Gear Solid 5 looks sick!

Moody: Agreed.. but what’s with the 2 MGS Five games? There’s a “Phantom Pain” and also a “Ground Heroes” going on..

Chris: Apparently they’re two sections of the same game or something like that?

Moody: Epic! How about WWE 2K14!!?

Joe: Good choice!!!

Chris: Ooooo good one!

Gary: Wrestling! Travis! Of course… I think EA is going to kill it with the next-gen UFC 14, since they already have that great Fight Night engine locked in. And you know I don’t give 2 shits about sports games unless I’m punching someone in the face!

Moody: WWE 12 was great, 13 improved a little, but failed with the amount of cutscenes during Universe mode.. and with 2K taking over the franchise, it’s sure to rock! Maybe that’s the secret 2K will have for us at E3, after all. Hey, you guys realize something? We just did an entire E3 preview without any mention of Call of Duty: Ghosts. So… there. We’re setting records already.

Joe: Yeah I’m kinda shocked!

Chris: HAHAHA Wow! It totally slipped my mind! I think there are just too many other games I care about more..

Joe: I like COD, but I talk about it so much already

Lance: My pick? Barbie’s Dreamland, of course! No, lol… Batman: Arkham Origins. We now get to play the bat before he learns to fly!

Close Encounters of the Slade Kind.

Moody: Oh wow.. That’s insane how that game slipped our minds! Was it because Rocksteady aren’t back as the development team? Either way, I just wish there was a Superman version of this game – if this one’s a success maybe WB Montreal will start working on it — but who’s to complain.

Joe: I wanna damn Nightwing game — he deserves one, dammit!!!

Lance: Yeah AO will be missing the Joker though *sulks*. A Nightwing game would be crazy cool.

Moody: Nightwing over the Man of Tomorrow? Give me a break, buds. Oh yeah. There was one oh-so-very-important thing we missed… What about the Booth Babes? Isn’t that why you guys are all scrambling to get in E3 in the first place?

Lance: Half of those girls “working” E3 are girls I’ve dated, so I’d rather avoid…

Joe: And half of those girls “working” E3 are girls I’ve dated, as in “slept with.”

Chris: Baha. Booth babes are absolutely the only reason to go! Video games are stupid.

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