PrE3: Our Parish Picks & Pre-dicks!!! (Part Uno)

Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to God Hates Geeks‘ 2nd year of E3 coverage! I’m more than excited to tell you that in just a year alone our “blogazine” has grown to ginormous numbers on social media.. thanks to you and all the slippery facebook whoring our entire fam does oh-so-very well. While I’m currently the only loser in the congregation fully registered for next week’s Electronic Entertainment Expo (LA Convention Center, June 10-13), we have 4 of the nuttiest gaming geeks ready to shuffle the deck on June 9th with hopes of landing their asses into the World’s Greatest Video Game Conference.

The Good News: If Moody gets some effing help this year, I’ll be able to drink more.

Drink and play.. that’s all day. Either way, as many of you all know — and all effin’ hyperbole aside — this is going to be the biggest E3 yet, simply because of the arrival of our newest next-generation consoles, the Playstation 4 and the Xbox One.

PrE3: Our Parish Picks & Pre-dicks!!! (Part Uno)
All these people are lining up to play.. Pikman? Again?

Are you excited?! Other than that handsome British man who’s faster than a speeding bullet, up in the sky and all that.. there’s been nothing else getting the juices flowing like E3. So, our first question is.. aww shit..

PS4 or XBOX One?


“The” Christian Seufert: Woah woah woah, what about Wii U!? Ha! I keed, I keed. PS4 for sure, assuming they don’t bone us on the price. The specs looks solid (although I wish I could say the box, but Sony had to go and be a prude and not let us see the box) and they’re gamer focused, so as of now that’s an easier decision. I’m gonna feel like an uber-nerd saying this right now, but Square Enix announcing a new Final Fantasy made the decision even easier. And it’s a PS4 exclusive. I love the FF franchise, and if Square Enix shows up and shows off like I hope they can, that makes my decision to buy a PS4 that much easier. Sentiment goes a long way. (Kingdom Hearts 3 at some point wouldn’t hurt, either. Wink wink.) That being said, Xbox One is such a close second that a few really badass exclusives could sway my decision. But pre-E3, PS4.

“Reverend” Joe Rivera: Hmm. Well, according to the latest article in Gamespot (if you click here), video game analyst Michael Pachter believes that “the Xbox One will retail for $400, while the Playstation 4 will debut at $350.” The Xbox 360 launched at around $300-$400, while the PS3 launched at $500-$600. The prices in which Pachter are predicting seem absolutely reasonable, though I would not be surprised if the price for the Xbox One is higher with all that entertainment flexibility. But, what does everyone else predict?

“Monsignor” Travis Moody: Holy affordable, Batwoman!! I said $500, with the possibility of 600… I now might be able to purchase at launch. If this price range sustains, I’ll be one very pleasant geek.

PrE3: Our Parish Picks & Pre-dicks!!! (Part Uno)
Easy choice: I’ll take the one with a control pad, 2 menu buttons, 4 action buttons, 4 trigger buttons, and 2 sticks. Yup!

Joe: Honestly — with all of the capabilities the Xbox One will have — I’m almost betting that you could be right, Travis!

Moody: With that said, does the price change your purchasing perception? Give us an answer, Joe, what system you buying?

Chris: Wow! $350 for the PS4 kind of solidifies that as my choice when they both launch. Honestly, both of those prices are an incredible relief all around from what I assumed we were going to get hit with; the $500-$600 that you mentioned, Moody. Do you guys know if there are any predictions about the price of games going up or not?

Joe: According to Pachter, if that’s really the case (and let’s hope so) then both Sony and Microsoft still have my interest. It’s just a question of which will I purchase first? Your guys’ thoughts? I think the games will still be in the $60 range.

Moody: I’ve never had a PS2 or PS3.. Ever since Halo 1, I’ve been Xbox all the way. Even the worst press conference since New York Jets coach Rich Kotite tried to explain his 1-15 season, can’t sway me to the “other” side. And, since I didn’t even cover the PS4 announcement back in Feb, it’s quite obvious, and, hell, exactly why I hired you guys! I’m sure the game prices would stay the same.. can’t imagine any different. Look, a lot of times you’re spending $80-100 on a game without realizing it anyway, ala DLC (BTW, “The Knife is Dunwall” is pretty fun, as I’m playing it as I type — thanks, Billy Mau!).

Chris: See, I was always Playstation, up until PS3 set the price way too high for a high school kid to afford; so, to be able to get back to Playstation again.. is wicked exciting. I love my ‘box, but Sony has me back if they keep that price. Would anything “sway” you to the Sony side, Travis (and Jose, if you are as well an Xbox guy)?

Moody: Naw, I really don’t think so. I know our own Gary Brooks owns 2 systems (3, if you include the Dreamcast he still can’t put away) and Joe is interested in both as well.. but I just can’t find the time. So, like an Armenian girl in the hood, I’m siding with comfort. A lot of the features at the press conference didn’t titillate me like they may have to someone getting into video games for the firs, or at least a long, time, but I know Microsoft has been putting out great games. Nothing will change there. Was there definitely some overreaction to the conference? I’m sure as shit that it wasn’t any different when the Xbox 360 launched. And, man, it’s just hard for me to fuck with those PS controls!

PrE3: Our Parish Picks & Pre-dicks!!! (Part Uno)
Clearly, the only man who could ever lead Nintendo back to victory!

Joe: It’s kind of interesting for me. After I was pretty much done with Nintendo (kinda had a strong loyalty to them — woe is me), I really wanted to go the Sony route mostly because I really got into the Kingdom Hearts franchise in college. But I ended up going the Xbox route, and not only because of Halo. I was a Conker fan, but for him to come back is only a pipe dream! (Hahaha) But, oh what the hey.. I love me some Uncharted, and God of War was always fun; so yeah, I really have an interest in both. Plus, and I’m not saying that I’m turning my back on Microsoft, I still want the Xbox One, but was I the only one who got slightly annoyed by all the constant “TV this and TV that!?”

Chris: The TV talk was really annoying during the presentation, but as time has passed, I’ve kind of logged in my head the amount of time I use my Xbox for stuff like that (Netflix, Hulu, HBOgo, etc.) and then I realize I’m actually really excited about what the X1 can do. What worries me about the TV and all the other “take over your living room” stuff is that if it’s always on won’t it use up a lot of RAM, making games (especially of the openworld sort) slower and more glitchy?

Moody: I’m trying to give Microsoft the benefit of the doubt here. I’m sure their programming geniuses alloted enough power in the Xbox One processors to allow users to do multiple things at once, without any signs of slowing. Otherwise, the entire conference was just a big waste of time! (Though for 75% it was anyway…) Regardless, let’s not veer off track and turn this into discussion into a review of that conference, because in exactly one week Microsoft will have another one at 9 am! And, I’m sure their goal will be GAMES, GAMES, GAMES. I mean– it better. And you know when it comees to games, both Ubisoft and Electronic Arts will do nothing but deliver an onslaught of them. What do you expect from these 2 major companies (who each have their own conferences on Monday, in addition to those from Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo)? What are you most excited to see from them?

Joe: Ubisoft — definitely Assassin’s Creed 4: Black Flag and Watch Dogs have caught my eye. EA? The next-gen Need for Speed: Rivals.

Chris: Right!? Ubisoft has a couple of games I’m over-the-top enthused for: the aforementioned AC4 and Splinter Cell: Blacklist. I was a bit underwhelmed by the last Assassins Creed, so I’m really hoping this one recaptures me, which it should, considering pirates not-named-Keith-Richards are involved! Gameplay on both Blacklist and Black Flag (hey, a pattern!) should happen, and would be great to see on the next gen hardware. Now, if EA came out and gave us straight up plans for a new Star Wars game — Battlefront, perhaps? — I would shoot through the roof with joy. They can (and hopefully will) do Star Wars right.

Moody: A Star Wars next-gen live demo, of any sorts, would be.. on par with having a whiskey neat with Harrison Ford. They have a lot to prove with Battlefield 4, too. Going the EA Sports side, Madden improved tremendously last year for the XBOX, but yet still failed in the execution of their Connected Careers mode. I’m a little worried that EA won’t be able to figure out their new Infinity engine’s full capabilities quite yet, as there’s sure to be a few growing pains on their sports line across the board. The Xbox One UFC 14 does look insane though, and it’ll be interesting to see if they can improve upon an already-fan favorite title from THQ, aside from better graphics. You’d think the new control stick could make submission transitions that much easier.

Chris: Agreed. I think that was the only weak point in the last UFC game (which I am playing at the moment, haha). The new engine will be especially cool to see in action in a UFC game not generically named “MMA”. I’m also crossing my fingers that they get NBA Live 2014 right. I miss good NBA games. Also, where is NHL? You guys see anything about an NHL game at all?

Moody: Wait. WHAT!?!! Do you not play NBA 2K at all? For several years now — particularly within the past couple — they’ve cleaned the streets with great basketball games. Aside from FIFA (which 13 was basically a duplicate of 12), NBA 2K was easily the best sports game on the market. NHL 14 won’t be coming to next-gen this year, which, honestly, I’m giving EASports credit for focusing on just a handful of games with this new hardware.

Chris: Yeah? I haven’t really liked them to be honest. Maybe I just don’t like NBA games in general then. I’ll have to go back and play it again, huh? Hah! Yeah I guess that’s a good idea on their part. NHL is a hard game to get right, so I would much rather prefer to wait and get a complete game then them half ass it at all.

Moody: Agree. And going back to Ubisoft, I got to witness a ton of South Park: The Stick of Truth. Too bad drinking scotch isn’t a paying job or Kenny’s dad would be a millionaire! I think I’d rather play this than the next Call of Duty…

Chris: I was literally just about to bring South Park up! I’m too excited for it. Same. Just to have Matt and Trey behind the story of an RPG is incredible. We will definitely see a solid demo of it at E3, hopefully more than you have already witnessed, Moody.

Moody: It’s the most hilarious game ever. And it’s a medieval RPG! I mean, really! No, curse the demos. It’s time to get our hands on the actual game! But, with the sale of THQ, Ubisoft is taking a little more time with this one. Who knows what the situation is, at this point…

Joe: Isn’t it kind of in the vein of Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic? I mean, that’s what drew me to it, plus it’s basically fucking Peter Jackson’s South Park.

Moody: Haha. Same with Watch Dogs. They had a private room demo last year — one of the few I missed — and they haven’t shown much since. All I can think of is, like, The Matrix meets Grand Theft Auto.

Chris: It looks like an insanely complex version of that show “Person of Interest”, but with GTA violence to back it up. I expect to lose many days to Watch Dogs when it comes out.

Joe: I couldn’t agree more, Dogs looks ridiculously awesome from the little that I’ve seen and heard. Very GTA with a little bit of an AC element due the use of stealth and parkour, which I’ve always enjoyed! I really believe that it’s gonna be a huge hit!

Moody: Rockstar was absent last year (the studios and certainly not the energy drink, which’ll serve as this parish’s holy water), and Grand Theft Auto V comes out in September. They honestly don’t need to show up at E3, since GTA V will still shatter game-selling records — perhaps blowing by even Madden and Call of Duty. But, if we get to play it — which seems probable (and perhaps impossible, as I think of all the unbearably long lines)…

Joe: We should DEFINITELY have a post-E3 discussion on GTA V if any of you lucky dicks get to play it, even if I’m not gonna be there…. “Dying to know!” I’m sure there will be plenty more dicks on GTA V similar to what you’d see at websites like

Chris: I know they said they aren’t showing this year either. Or i think specifically they “have no plans” for E3, so I doubt we’ll see it. Rockstar is too cool for school when it comes to E3, and rightfully so since GTA V is gonna destroy the competition when it comes out, anyway. Somehow, NOT going to E3 helps GTA V by making everyone talk about them.

Moody: Yeah, I wouldn’t show it. Why bother? Like you said in your review of Bioshock Infinite: GTA V is clearly the only game in the current gen that has a chance of rivaling BI for Game of the Year. Chick-chick, POW.


Stay tuned for the second and — we promise — final part of our PrE3 discussion when we’re joined by “The Apostle” Lance Paul and “Cardinal” Gary Brooks!

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