–The Buy-In: Tony Nese/Mark Sterling vs. Hookhausen – Exactly as you’d expect or want–“Smart” Mark Sterling in a silver and yellow Power Ranger outfit. Ha, I kid, this was a fun warm-up for the soon-to-be-lava-hot crowd with Hook tossing the Baddie lawyer around while Danhausen gets the flamboyant three. Very evil, very quick. – 3/5
-Maxwell Jacob Friedman vs. Wardlow – MJF shot himself into a work, Brother! There’s no way to review this match as a wrestling match: it needed to be the “end” of MJF. Ya’ll can go crazy with your theories but this won’t be the last time we see Max in All Elite. As wild as MJF’s heat was in T-Mobile, Wardlow’s rise to super babyface should be nothing to take lightly. Dude’s over, as those ten — count ’em TEN! TEN! TEN! — powerbombs can attest. – n/a/5
The Hardys vs. Young Bucks – As rough as The Hardys looked in this match, especially a seemingly smoked-out Jeff (who still went on to take some wild dives and swantons), this match’s still greatISH quality is a testament to the legend of the Young Bucks. Matt and Nick have been carrying tag teams for years, or at least adjusting to the style of their opponents. Incredible heelwork on their end, too. Jeff just got to AEW and already needs a break. – 3.5-3.75/5
TBS Title: Jade Cargill vs. Anna Jay – Jade is getting better; Anna is a solid hand. This title match, despite the interference and some sloppiness, overachieved. I enjoyed it! Stokely Hathaway makes his AEW debut as Jade’s new manager (Sterling maintains his lawyer duties), and Athena (read: Ember Moon!!) ran in to confront Jade and the Baddies, alongside Anna and Kris Statlander. Sounds like a fun 6-woman tag is on the way, maybe even this Wednesday. – 3/5
House Of Black vs. Death Triangle – Great, great, great! Spots, spots, spots. Mostly incredible, as you’d expect from 6 of the most gifted wrestlers in the business. Dark Pentagon looked as good as he ever has in AEW. This one also had an interesting finish that finally needed to happen for young Julia Hart. – 4/5
Men’s Owen Hart Foundation Final: Samoa Joe vs. Adam Cole – A really sound wrestling match that probably didn’t need to be on the card, but rather as a super-hyped main event on Dynamite this week. It just never went into 2nd gear, nevermind 3rd. I typically don’t mind interference from the Undisputed Elite, but I really wish Fish hadn’t been involved in a tournament decider. And Cole winning also tipped off the winner of the next match… – 3.25/5
Women’s Owen Hart Foundation Finals: Britt Baker vs. Ruby Soho – Rancid were the big stars here. In a nice treat for the fans, the longtime punk band performed “Ruby Soho” in full. The match itself was good, but, again, woulda been better off as a Rampage main event. Horrible sharpshooter, which has been overdone in this tourney–as you’d expect with any tourney with the title Hart in it. Next up was the Martha Hart-led Owen Hart Cup Trophy — and belts! — presentation, which I would’ve preferred to see on the show itself rather than the matches. – 3.25/5
Sammy Guevara/Frankie Kazarian/Tay Conti vs. Men Of The Year/Paige VanZant – Another match I would’ve preferred to see on Dynamite or Rampage, especially for PVZ’s first official match. The mixed 6-person tag definitely had its moments and a super fun finish, but Sammy & Tay never really got the heat AEW wanted and I think fans were just resting for the bigger stuff at this point. PVZ was green as all hell, definitely no Bad Bunny or WrestleMania debut Rhonda Rousey, but she did look good on some select moves. While I wouldn’t give up on her yet, this wasn’t the place to begin. – 3/5
Kyle O’Reilly vs. Darby Allin – Added to the card by TK who bought another hour of PPV for the Martha segment, this was a great surprise. I guess Khan was worried about going head-to-head with Game 7 of the NBA Eastern Conference Finals (Boston vs. Miami), but isn’t this a Pay-Per-View? As a Celtics fan, I shut my phone off for 12 hours following the game (a victory for the C’s, by the way!) and watched the DoN replay. I don’t see wrestling fans being conflicted here; if anything, they’ll use multiple screens (laptops, tablets, phones) to watch both. – 3.75/5
Women’s Title: Serena Deeb vs. Thunder Rosa – This will forever go down as the most underrated match of the night, simply due to the length of the show and the position these two ladies were put in. Oh, and the build has been kinda shit. That said, they put on a hell of a technical clinic. It’s definitely the type of match you’ve got to watch again, if you watched it live on PPV. – 3.5-3.75/5
Anarchy in the Arena: Jericho Appreciation Society vs. Blackpool Combat Club/Santana/Ortiz/Eddie Kingston – This was.. amazing. I don’t know what it was, maybe a “Vegas Street Fight” type brawl all over the arena. Actually, it was a live version of a Stadium Stampede, with all 10 men fighting and kicking the crap out of each other all over the arena and the crowd went absolutely insane. I, at home, did too. While this didn’t have the premediated stunts of the SS, the live wild spots in this were enough; the brawling was so fun and off-the-cuff that it should remind many of the “Attitude Era” or “Ruthless Aggression” type stuff we used to get from WWE. Oh, those were the days. Thank you Jericho, Mox and DB for bringing it back. To top it off, they played Moxley’s entrance song for a 1/3rd of the match until Chris ripped apart the sound data. Brilliant. – 4.5/5
Tag Team Titles: Jurassic Express vs. Team Taz vs. Keith Lee/Swerve Strickland – The late stage momentum continues with another fantastic match. My new fav tag team has to be Swerve in Their Glory or whatever, but damn all 9 dudes here rocked it. Each team has a very special cruiserweight/superweight (think The JeriShow or Team Hell No) dynamic and they absolutely made the most use of it. Swerve’s springboard moonsault off Lee’s chest is just the best. As much fun as this was, I think it’s time we get J.E. vs FTR. Do it! – 4.25/5
AEW World Title: CM Punk vs. Hangman Page – Some slight miscommunications aside, this was a great match and it had super heat. People loved Punk and/or Page or hated Punk and/or Page. It was really something to hear. Throughout the contest both men sold the left knee, hobbling around and slipping on spots (such as Punk’s “Buckshot Lariat” x2), which looked like Botchamania; but if you consider the selling, a lot of their stuff looked more like a struggle than a mistake. That’s just how damned good Punk and Page both are. Adam Page has the absolute best facials in the business (the ol’ wrasslin’ term for facial reactions, you pervs), and his determined looks and will he/won’t he go heel ponderings were classic. As a storytelling match, this was a classic; as a wrestling match it was almost great; and, together, it def kept the crowd roaring well past the 5.5-hour mark. New champ, well deserved, and definitely feels like the right move heading into the next pair of big shows. – 4.25-4.5/5
Matches = 3.75/5 (if you don’t count the buy-in and MJF squashes!) Entertainment = 4.25/5 (if you’re OK with long shows!)
Overall = 4/5 Whiskeys.
Fuck, this was a long show. But AEW Double Or Nothing 2022 was a damned good one. Heck, if you took away the two Owen Hart tournament finals and the mixed 6-person tag, this would go down as one of the best PPV’s in AEW’s 3-year history. That said, it was still an awesome show and somehow kept the ultra hot Vegas crowd going nutty for nearly 6-hours. Can’t wait to attend Dynamite at the Forum on Wednesday!
Welcome to Night Two of the most stupendous night in SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT HISTORY!!! WRRRRESTLEMANIA!!!
I’ve got a few thoughts on Night One, but, for more detail of Saturday night, please do check out Shawn Puff’s full review…
-What. The. Fuck. Logan Paul is a natural. Hate, hate, hate to admit it, but he’s a great natural heel. He knows how to work the crowd, the camera, does smooth work in the ring… He’s sure as hell better than Cody’s Tat.. Sorry, I meant Dom. And the Miz? Icing on the cake. -It’s so weird that the End of Days had remained unbeaten and they decide to throw that way in a “nothing” match. –Bianca and Becks went hard. And I’m tired of Becks. Hats off. –Cody. Amazing return and possible MOTN (I’m torn between them and Bianca vs Becks). –Charlotte and Ronda? Basura, basura, basura. Bullshit finish because God forbid Chars doesn’t win a PPV match. Wish they had cut this instead of the New Day match. –Stone Cold can still go hard!!! Has better stamina than some full timers, goddamn!
Onto Night Two. Ready to Acknowledge…
We open with Triple H having a nice little intro moment. I’m not crying, you’re crying. He kept things short and (too) sweet.
Raw Tag Team Champions RK-Bro vs. The Street Profits vs. Alpha Academy (Triple Threat Match)
I’m in the unique position of being both pretty entertained and underwhelmed. It just feels like they always do too little with Gable. He’s a surprising, deceiving powerhouse and it was awesome when back in the day, they’d let him go on a suplex rampage on guys way bigger than him. Yet again, it didn’t happen. Kudos to Otis for doing the first ever Judas Effect that actually looked devastating. I expected more spots in this good match, but it was not stupendous. – 3.25/5 (The Stevenson suplex thing was so mind-numbingly stupid and unnecessary.)
Bobby Lashley vs. Omos
“Laaaashley! Laaaashley!” I don’t care. I liked the Lashley/Lio pairing. Anyway, where’s MVP? I was more invested in this match than I care to admit. Build up was short, but something about how it was put together just worked for me. I know Omos is not Taker or Nash; but, this brawl should’ve lasted longer and it should’ve taken more than one spear to get the win, especially with how they’ve built up Omos. He didn’t even have to kick out of the spear, just have Bobby do two or three in a row for insurance. Not stupendous at all. – 2/5
Johnny Knoxville vs. Sami Zayn (Anything Goes Match)
Didn’t know what to expect. We knew Johnny could take a ridiculous amount of punishment and that definitely counts for something in wrestling. Just ask Mick Foley (don’t @ me). What I sure as hell didn’t expect was to unironically love that match. I fully recognize that it helps if you’re a fan of Jackass (a lot) or just being a sadist (a lot), but that was great. I was thoroughly sports entertained!
Knoxville and crew were clearly game for taking shots and Zayn didn’t shy away from anything either. The nods to the Jackass shows and movies were brilliant. Anyone else surprised they went through with the Party Boy appearance? First STUPENDOUS match of the night. – 4/5 (Before you start whining, I’m not calling it a great wrestling match by any means, but it gets a 4 by sheer entertainment value.)
Women’s Tag Team Champions Queen Zelina & Carmella vs. Sasha Banks & Naomi vs. Rhea Ripley & Liv Morgan vs. Natalya & Shayna Baszler
Why did Naomi get in the car to ride for 40 feet? I honestly don’t have much to say about this one. Nothing bad to say, and nothing to rave about. Love that Liv/Rhea finisher, though. Match was mid– not STU. PEN. DOUS. – 2.5/5
Edge vs. AJ Styles
I’ve never been an Edge guy, never will be. It doesn’t help that they have him on a PPV winning streak… Match was fine but ugh. Edge wins. – 3/5, I guess.
Xavier Woods & Kofi Kingston vs. Sheamus & Ridge Holland
Cole just called the team of Bitch, Botch, and Butch the Unholy Trinity. Calm down, Cole. You’re not talking about the Ministry of Darkness. That was so fucking stupid. Honestly, they should’ve just left the whole thing cut. It was a complete disservice to Woods, E, and Kofi. Fuck this and whoever produced that match. – 1/5.
Pat McAfee vs. Austin Theory
I was looking forward to this match between Pat and Austin (not Steve) more than I’d like to admit. Hey, I feel they handled the build up well, what can I say? Match was a lot more fun than expected and McAfee impressed a lot of people. Ending was predictable, but didn’t take away from how enjoyable it was. – 3.5/5… Wait, what the hell is happening?
Pat McAfee vs. Vince & The Battle of the Austins – What a weird ride. The Vince match was clearly an odd ego project of his. It was surreal, and I’m sure people felt it was a mass hallucination. Thankfully Stone Cold snapped us back into reality and we got both one of the best and worst Stunner sells of all time. I genuinely don’t know who had the best rub of WrestleMania weekend: Theory or Owens. I consider this a segment, not an actual match…
WWE Champion Brock Lesnar vs. Universal Champion Roman Reigns (Winner Take All Championship Unification)
Our Tribal Lord vs. The Mayor of Suplex City. Soooo what just happened? With the epic build-up and history between these two, I was expecting a way longer match. Don’t get me wrong; I thoroughly enjoyed what they did put on, it just felt like the finish came way too suddenly. I’ll wait to see if there are any reports of an injury because something feels really off. Hate to say this match was good but not stupendous. – 3/5.
Matches = 3.25/5 Entertainment = 2.75/5
Overall = 3/5 Whiskeys.
Night 1 was better than Night 2. That’s pretty obvious. They shit the bed with New Day and the main event was painfully too short, a pity because it was shaping up to be (one last time)… stupendous.
It’s finally here!! The grand-daddy of them all, the show of shows, the “showcase of the immortals”!
Last night and tonight, it’s…
Or is it Sports Entertainment Mania now? I don’t know.. but this weekend has been wild. I’ve consumed more wrestling from my home than any human ever should in a single weekend. Anyway, Mania is now a two-night extravaganza. By the way, this company that everybody hates sold over 70,000 tickets, which isn’t too shabby for a shitty company that nobody likes anymore.
But enough trolling the IWC, they’re going to be in enough tears when Shane-O-Mac shows up as Seth’s opponent tonight. That said.. there was absolutely no need for a two-hour kickoff show with zero matches– especially when the US and Intercontinental titles aren’t even on the card. Damn you, Vince!! Anyway, let’s pour a glass of whiskey, sit down and take in the biggest show of the year. It’s time for WrestleMania 38, Night 1!!
SmackDown Tag Team Championship: Shinsuke Nakamura & Rick Boogs vs the Usos (c)
Damn, do they misuse Shinsuke. This match was a lot shorter than it should have been. Boogs blew out his knee and left Shinsuke to fight the Usos, two on one. Nakamura got off a few good moves in but it was basically a handicap match the rest of the way and a 1D put Nak down rather quickly.
We found out later on that Boogs’ injury was real. He tore his quad and damaged his patella and needs surgery. I mean, that would explain how the remainder of the match went and why it ended so quickly. If this is a sign of the night to come, I might need to crack open the good whiskey. – 2/5
Drew McIntyre v Happy Corbin
Wait… did Samantha Irvin just call Happy Corbin undefeated? Come on. Sure, he hasn’t lost since his “name change” but that doesn’t constitute undefeated. I love that Pat McAfee called him Bum Ass Corbin before he changed his name. Corbin looked strong to start this match. McIntyre doing a tope suicida was pretty insane.
This one was a slight step up from the opener but not by much. Corbin is no longer undefeated and this match felt like it belonged on SmackDown or the Kickoff Show. Which, by the way, why was this match here instead of Ricochet defending his title? Who booked this shit, Bruce? Oh great, McIntyre destroyed the ring ropes so the next match is going to take a bit before it happens. Time for more whiskey. – 2.75/5
Rey & Dominik Mysterio vs Miz & Logan Paul
HOLY SHIT!!! LOGAN PAUL IS FRICKIN GOOD!!!! Give this kid a damn contract. This was the best match so far tonight and it shocked the world. Logan pulling off the Three AmigosAND a GREAT Frog Splash with a little shoulder shimmy on the top rope!! I don’t like this kid at all, but I have to give him credit. He did a bang-up job. Logan Paul looks better than Dominik, to be honest. Logan Paul may be the greatest sports entertainer ever.
Anyway, this match might be the turning point of the night. After the match, Miz turning on Paul just set up his first feud if they keep him around. I’m sure we’ll, at the very least, get Miz versus Logan Paul at Backlash or SummerSlam. This felt like Mania to me. The other two should have been in that horrendously long kickoff show. THIS started the night of Mania. – 3.25/5
Stephanie McMahon comes out and introduces Gable Steveson to us. So, the Olympic Gold Medalist will NOT be the swerve on us to face Seth Rollins. Has Shane been seen in Dallas? Hahaha. Interesting that this kid is getting the bump directly to the main roster and skipping NXT. I guess that’s what happens when you win a gold frickin medal WITHOUT a broken frickin neck. Can’t wait to see what this kid brings to the table.
RAW Women’s Championship: Bianca Belair vs Becky Lynch (c)
Here we go with the over-the-top entrances finally. That marching band. Fire. OK. We’re definitely at Mania now. These two women put on a hell of a battle. If you’re looking for good women’s matches to watch this weekend, this might be the best of them. This will be on my list for the women’s match of the year. The entrances also set the stage perfectly for the culmination of this feud.
Bianca had her WrestleMania Moment stolen from her last year by a returning Becky Lynch and this year she recaptures her moment. Great match overall and almost the show-stealer. If they really wanted a women’s match to be the main event tonight, they should have gone with this one. – 4.25/5
Seth Rollins vs Mr. McMahon’s Hand-Picked Opponent (Cody Rhodes)
So, after much speculation, rumors and to-do, we finally find out who Seth’s mystery opponent is going to be. Seth gets sung in by a chorus. That was weird. And Cody Rhodes came home!! So, we have our first impactful cast off from AEW that lands in WWE. Not saying it means anything, but I would take note: This was a great wrestling match. Cody may have just had the match of his career with Seth Rollins. Definitely Match Of The Year contender right here. He even got a little homage to Dusty in there. Now let’s be real. Cody needed this. This was the only way this comeback would have worked.
I know everyone always looks at what Vince does wrong but they forget about what he does right. Sometimes you need to go away and prove yourself somewhere else to get the push. Remember the Chosen One, Drew McIntyre, or Christian? They proved themselves and then came back and went to the moon. Now, I don’t know that that’s the plan here but don’t doubt it until it gives you a reason to. I mean, we might have just witnessed the greatest WrestleMania Moment in the history of WrestleMania. Cody came home. Holy shit! – 4.5/5
SmackDown Women’s Championship Ronda Rousey vs Charlotte Flair (c)
This match was done a disservice for coming after Cody’s return. It was kind of sloppy. I don’t know if it’s Ronda or if Charlotte just isn’t really at the level that WWE puts her at for her name. Logan Paul looked better than Charlotte Flair. They had their moments, don’t get me wrong, but after the last two matches, it just wasn’t the same.
It picked up and got a lot better but the first half was pretty rough. Ronda got out of the Figure Eight and kicked out of a Natural Selection. Neither woman would tap. The ref got knocked out and it cost Rousey the title in a fuck-finish. We couldn’t go the whole night without one right? Of course, it was in the main event. I should have gone to bed before this match. Overall, it wasn’t the worst match but compared to the two that preceded it, this was meh. – 3.5/5
K.O. Show with Stone Cold Steve Austin: Kevin Owens vs Stone Cold Steve Austin
The big question was, would this turn into a match? I mean after the actual main event I went in HOPING it would save the main event. Luckily for us, it did. And no holds barred at that. It was great to see Austin back in the ring. Austin drank beer and stomped mudholes. They went out into the crowd and up the ramp and Austin took some bumps that I never thought I’d see him take again. This got the crowd back into it to end the night. Both men ate Stunners and Austin came out victorious in the end.
After the match, it was time for beers, beers and more beers followed by another Stunner for KO. And just when you thought it was done, Stone Cold shared a beer with Byron Saxton and Stunned the hell out of him then celebrated with his real-life brother. This is how you send the crowd home happy and buzzing in Texas. And there’s still one more night! Can night two outdo what we just watched? – 4/5
Cody came home
Above all, Mania’s first night really didn’t disappoint. Clearly, it started off slow and really bumpy, but it slowly reached true Mania level. In the end, we got an amazing Mania Moment recaptured for Bianca and one for Stone Cold and KO that the entire arena enjoyed. In addition, Logan Paul shocked the world because he’s actually pretty damn good at this. And of course. “the greatest WrestleMania Moment in the history of Mania” came with Cody Rhodes returning home. Hopefully, Rick Boogs heals up quickly, but what happened to the New Day versus Sheamus and Ridge Holland? Guess they got the bump. Maybe on the night two kickoff show? They could use a match or two on that two hours of nothing. In fine, I thoroughly enjoyed night one of WrestleMania and will be looking forward to night two. Now, more whiskey.
Here are the Top 4 WrestleMania Weekend Shows from Thursday, ranked in order!
1.)ROH Supercard of Honor XV
THE GOOD:
–I mean.. almost everything. From the last minute buzz created for the show, to the tremendous crowd, to the front-to-back match quality, to the big surprises — Brian Cage! Young Bucks! Samoa Joe! (“Joe! Joe! Joe!”) — to Tony Khan’s AEW imprint smothered all over the show, this “new beginning” for the Ring of Honor brand is off to a hot start. There are a lot of questions to be raised, sure, but let’s enjoy this event for what it was– maybe the best thing we’ll see all weekend.
–ROH World Tag Team Championship: FTR vs. The Briscoes – The match that sold tickets, the match that had all the hype, the match that had a bit of controversy for one team and a clear second start for the other. The ROH tag title match was everything it intended to be and more, and don’t be surprised if this winds up the match of Mania weekend. GO SEE IT NOW! – 5/5
–The TK post event media scrum. I love these. I guess that makes me a mark, but if you’re reading this then you clearly are one too. FTR was so damn amazing in the post show press conference, while Samoa Joe added a little kayfabe, and Mercedes proved she might just be “the realest in the room”. How you doin? I’m feelin’ good.
THE BAD:
–Nothing. If we want to get nitpicky, the women’s matches didn’t exactly tear the roof off; then again, Women of Honor has always (sadly) been ROH’s clear-cut weakness. Mercedes is a great choice to be new champ, even if it’s in the interim while we figure out a time and place for her and Deonna to get it on, while A.Q.A. & Willow both show a lot of promise.
–ROH World Championship: Jonathan Gresham vs. Bandido – Oh, don’t get me wrong: this was a very good main event on a very good pay-per-view. I’ll even bump it up a 0.25 score for all the amazing action that happened after the final 3-count. While a “styles clash” of sorts, both competitors indeed adapted to each other as best as possible and it made for an exhilarating final 5-minutes. But we’ve seen better from both, especially Bandido the day before and Gresham in various matches all over the place. I’m intensely curious to see where all of this goes, be it Gresham’s whole deal with Lethal/Joe, or Bandido’s current status with ROH/AEW.. So, while I have this in the “bad” category, a whole lotta good came out of a slightly disappointing title match. – 4/5
–The Card. It’s in the name– wrestlers from all corners of the “Multiverse” come together to celebrate the fact that Impact Wrestling is still a thing, no matter what promotion they’re representin’. While I haven’t been the most loyal fan of the brand over the years — returning many moons later to when Killer Kross and Bobby Lashley made it a thing again, mostly led by the hands of Sami Callihan — this event’s card piqued my interest. (Speaking of which, isn’t it kinda crazy having a WrestleMania/IndieMania Weekend without Sami? Without CZW? I remember them holding some pretty serious weight over the years.)
–Motor City Machine Guns. No, not together. Both Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley had the two best matches of the night, on a somewhat loaded card. With a somewhat stacked deck, that’s a clear testament to their ability to stay in shape, stay relevant and stay great in that squared circle.
-Their opponents: Jay White‘s frequent trips to the Impact Zone and the Impactful actions of the Bullet Club have made both the long-time faction and longtime up-and-down promotion relevant again. His match with Sabin was fire, unsurprisingly. But Switchblade losing his first match on Impact on this night was definitely not a given! The man he had a banger with over on Lonestar Shootout, Speedball Mike Bailey, had a 4-4.25-star clinic himself with Shelley — highlighted by a springboard moonsault to the floor and a twirling shooting star. Find these matches if you can!
THE BAD:
–Ultimate X Match. This was almost as anticlimactic as Roman vs. Brock. While not bad by any means, it’s definitely one many Mania Weekend goers had circled on their calendar. With talent like eventual winner Trey Miguel, hot free agent Blake Christian, Bullet Club’s Chris Bey, not that Virgil Vincent, the bomb Rich Swann, and Jordynne Fucking Grace, I was expecting nothing less than a 4-star smash. Didn’t happen. Seemed too sudden. Maybe there were too many matches in this.. Multiverse that prevented the X from reaching its proper peak. – 3/5
–Husband & Wife vs. Husband & Wife – Dirty Dishes at the Morrison household this was not. As much as I adore my evil twin — and the greatest heel in the business today — Matt Cardona and his lovely hot-mess bride Chelsea Green, this never reached the HYPE. Sad since their opponents, the legendary Mickie James and NWA’s Nick Aldis are just as great. Maybe they instead should’ve opted for a double date. – 2.25/5
Overall = 3.5/5 Whiskeys.
3.)NJPW Strong Lonestar Shootout
THE GOOD:
–Consistency and time. This show had arguably the most consistent wrestling of any show this weekend, and took more or less half the time! I feel like most events this past weekend (especially that of the “indie” type) needed to shave an hour. This one did and the five matches (yes, not 11, Josh Barnett!) felt like a smooth ride- especially when we have 3700 other shows to catch, including those near 11-hours of WWE content. Thank you, New Japan!
-Speedball Mike Bailey vs. Jay White – As mentioned prior, these two killed it on Impact and Bailey in particular had killed it everywhere else. As much as Suzuki made a presence this weekend on numerous shows, Bailey’s workrate remained supreme no matter the opponent and he also had nearly twice as many matches (9!) with many more high-spots. Incredible. And to think this awesome battle was only his 3rd or 4th best effort of the bunch. Also, lest we not forget White whose latest babyface Bullet Club thang is interesting AF; he’s more or less carried the weight of this promotion ever since re-calling America home. – 4/5
THE BAD:
-The obvious: lack of big time international stars like Naito, Okada and Tanahashi. But this isn’t really a complaint since NJPW has the word “Strong” behind it in the title in reference to its sister U.S. brand, and, really, we had the aforementioned White and Suzuki, and Tomohiro Ishii (who had a very strong main event with Chris Dickinson). Throw in Narita, Rocky, Juice, and a surprise promo from Mox (!!) and this was a very strong extended episode of NJPW Strong.
Overall = 3.5/5 Whiskeys.
4.)Joey Janela Spring Break 6, Part 2: The Greatest Clusterfuck
THE GOOD:
–The Greatest Clusterfuck and The Return of the Invisible Man. In my Night 1 WrestleMania Weekend review, I pointed out the lack of humor in Spring Break‘s Part 1. Well, not on this night. While this “Greatest” Clusterfuck was nowhere the greatest, it did return what made this event so must-see in the first place: the zany, wacky surprise entrants. Buff Bagwell (in crutches), Invisible Man (I laughed at ANYTHING & EVERYTHING involving the infamous legend), Maven (who basically called it a night after dropkicking everyone in the ring), Josh Barnett (who thankfully wiped the mat with that dirtsheet annoyance Sean Ross Sapp), Jimmy Wang Yang (and his super hot daughter Jazzy) and Early Morning Guy Steel (my personal fan favorite!) gave the SB brand the one thing Night 1 lacked.
–Tony Deppen vs. Biff Busick – Feel bad for Biff, who made a valiant return to the indie scene this past weekend only to get jobbed out in every major match. This was a hard-hitting affair, maybe Deppen’s best match in a minute as he also hit the crowd with a tenacious promo after. Let’s see where this all goes for “The Gatekeeper” – 4/5
–Minoru Suzuki vs. Effy – Another fun one, maybe the zaniest match-up of match-ups all weekend– and yet one that was actually watchable from a quality match stand-point. Imagine the scariest man in professional wrestling versus the gayest. Yup. Classic. – 10/5
THE BAD:
–The Greatest Clusterfuck and The Factions That [Almost] Killed It. Just me, or did almost every single WrestleMania Weekend event (including both nights of WrestleMania) finish ever so anticlimactically? This return of the wildest randomly generated and segmented “Royal Rumble” in the land was so much fun for its massive first half.. which mostly consisted of Joey Janela being a dick and eliminating every one by one. It was hilarious. Once the thing turned into a giant Cluster, it got Fucked. But I guess that’s the point. I’m happy for the humor, the surprises (some of whom we did see earlier in the weekend…), and the creativity, but the 1000 no-name bums and death match dudes hitting the ring late in the royal leveled this one down. – 3/5
–Nuttin’ else bad but the Bad Boy. Night 2 > Night 1, even if barely. The first half of the main event was super fun and hilarious, and the other 4 matches were all good-to-great in their own special way.
Overall = 3.25-3.5/5 Whiskeys.
HONORABLE MENTIONS
Speedball Mike Bailey vs. Davey Richards (WrestleCon USA vs. The World), Bandido & Extreme Tiger vs. The Workhorsemen (WrestleCon USA vs. The World), Hoodfoot vs. Billy Dixon (GCW For The Culture), Jai Vidal vs. Carlos Romo (Effy’s Big Gay Brunch), Dirty Dango vs. Alli Katch (Effy’s Big Gay Brunch), Travis Moody vs. WrestleMania Weekend (For watching 45-hours of wrasslin’ this weekend!).
Here are the Top 3 WrestleMania Weekend Shows from Thursday, ranked in order!
1.) Mark Hitchcock Memorial Super Show 2022
THE BEST:
–Surprises. The show formerly known as the WrestleCon Super Show had all the hilarious shock value we were accustomed to from previous Spring Break‘s. Either High Spots is stealing GCW’s past Mania Weekend shine, or GCW is opting to keep the focus on their own roster. Regardless, this show was an absolute blast this year. I mean.. it had BARRY FUCKING HOROWITZ. And, if that wasn’t enough, the legendary WWF jobber teamed up with PCO, Dirty Dango (Faaaaaaannnnnndaaaaannnnngooooo), ENZO (yes, that guy) and Jimmy Wang Yang.. lmao. And their opponents were Juice Robinson, Colt Cabana, the Rock ‘n Roll Express and legendary FMW death match dude Onita! It was as glorious as a bad match could ever be.
–Dirty Dishes Match: Johnny WrestleCon vs. Taya Valkarie. O-M-G. Chalk this one up as a “WrestleMania Weekend” classic! This rare Husband vs. Wife match saw everything but the.. NEVERMIND: hell, it had the kitchen sink! Just crazy. Wild. And beyond the realm of imagination. “Johnny Dishes” might’ve had to change his moniker to Johnny Therapy or Johnny Divorce (or Johnny Doghouse, as the crowd chanted earlier), if not for his sweet somewhat-apology to his lovely lady post beatdown. how can any wrestling fan not fuckin’ adore this? – 10/5
–Bandido vs. Speedball Mike Bailey – It’s Bandido vs. Speedball Mike Bailey– do I really need to explain why it was great? Also, having Mike’s wifey Veda Scott do commentary for the match is just the cherry on top. Watch it. Find it. Skip some of WrestleMania for this if you have to. – 4.25+/5
THE WORST:
–WrestleCon didn’t go Gaga over Strong Style. Maybe because many of the same fans went to Bloodsport earlier in the day, or maybe the fans at the Memorial were just a different breed than that of the GCW faithful (likelier!), but the stiff, more methodical worked “strong style” matches featuring New Japan stars Tomohiro Ishii (vs. Timothy Thatcher, solid as solid is!) and Minoru Suzuki (vs. Biff Busick, which felt like the longest squash match ever but still good) weren’t as hot as the other high-spots or high-antics matches on the card.
–Rottweilers hold WrestleCon hostage. Um.. Low Ki almost fought some nerd mark in the crowd (shocked?), and his infamous 1-8-7 tag partner, Homicide, got in on the action with some extreme sexual verbiage. The jaw-jacking went on for a little bit and stalled the beginning of their otherwise decent main event match against the newly crowned GCW Tag Team champs, the Briscoes. – 3/5
–Nothing else. If you love professional wrestling, do yourself a favor and seek out WrestleCon’s Mark Hitchcock Memorial SuperShow (which you can order here)! Minus the finish and somewhat of an up-and-down crowd, it was a pretty wonderful show.
–GCW World Championship: Jon Moxley vs. AJ Gray – Mox is having himself a weekend. I’ll be the first to admit I hardly know a thing about AJ Gray, but I like this guy. He’s talented. He sold (or just felt?) a ton of barbed wire punishment, took an incredible tope con helo into the crowd on Mox, and, overall, “Black Death” just made for a legit contender for Mox’s strap. This one started off with solid in-ring wrestling that developed into something scarier, but it was just my type of “extreme rules” where the gimmicks become secondary (even with Mox’s incredible cutter onto a barbed wire-wrapped light tube!). Fun match. – 3.75/5
–The return of X-Pac. Sean Waltman looked in great shape for his age, had a very solid outing against the yearly host Joey Janela (in addition to his greatest hits, Pac hit a Canadian Destroyer and some other high spots to the outside), and cut a heartfelt promo to the fans and brand of GCW following the match. Good story for the late Scott Hall’s bestie, as the former nWo Syxx claims he will return!
–GCW Tag Team Championship: The Briscoes vs. Nick Gage & SLADE vs. The Second Gear Crew – Super fun opener that helped make up for the rushed/awkward finish to January’s Tag Title match at THE WRLD show between Dem Briscoes and Gage/Matt Trement (who was replaced by SLADE this weekend). Lots of big moves, crazy spots, tornado trios tag style. I loved the blend of hardcore tag team and indie pro wrestling here, rather than the usual 80 weapons in the ring stuff we’re accustomed to. Even with Mance Warner teaming up with “Seth Fauxlins” (Matthew Justice), this was the perfect way to kick-off JJ’s sixth Spring Break. – 3.75/5
THE BAD:
–GCW Ultraviolent Championship: John Wayne Murdoch vs. Alex Colon – This just isn’t for me. This is the type of stuff that keeps me from being a GCW mark in the first place. And that’s okay. I’m not exactly their audience. I love hardcore stuff, but maybe not the “ultraviolent” stuff– especially if I can’t get into the characters. At least with FMW/ECW, etc. I bought into the wrestlers involved. I’m glad people love this niche, but I’m not exactly sure how much they loved it following that flat finish. They weren’t a fan of the decision either, as we got a new champ. Eh. – 2/5
–Lack of usual humor/match variety. While GCW (Gee-See-Dub! Gee-See-Dub!) is chiefly known for its barbed wire, light tubes and hardcore loyalists, the brand has certainly diversified its pro wrestling content in the couple of years. Unfortunately, Spring Break 6 felt more like your usual GCW show than the signature hilarious and unpredictable Spring Break‘s of Mania Weekend Past. Although the show was super easy to watch (at least up until the end), I don’t remember any real “WOW LOL” moments. Damn, COVID is weighing on us all.. isn’t it?
Overall = 3.25/5 Whiskeys.
3.) Josh Barnett’s Bloodsport 8
THE GOOD:
–Jon Moxley vs. Biff Busick was yet another damn “IndieMania” classic for The Artist Formerly Known As Dean Ambrose. This guy is relishing in all his AEW glory and the flexibility his boss TK allows, edging himself in Game Changer Wrestling history. For someone who’s such a big star — arguably the 2nd biggest star in the 2nd biggest wrestling promotion on the planet — Mox gives NO FUCKS. Here he is, in another Bloodsport bloodbath with Boston’s Biff Busick a.k.a. Oney Lorcan. That dude brought it, too, and the crowd appreciated every second, especially Mox’s callbacks to his new faction boss William Regal and Busick doing his best Blackpool Combat Club audition with bulldog chokes, hard face slaps and killer American Dragon stomps. Fucking loved this. – 4.5/5
–The crowd in Dallas. They were tremendous for Bloodsport 8, which has basically become the event to unofficially kick off Mania Weekend every year.
–Chris Dickenson vs. Minoru Suzuki – Maybe an upset here, but we all know that the New Japan legend has no problem putting a guy over whenever he can. Minoru won his last 2 against the Dirty Daddy, so with Mox, Barnett & Johnny Bloodsport winning, I like the call here. Not a great main event, which started off a little slow, but def an entertaining one once the crowd booed Chris Dick’s spinning low kick to the upper groin, and the two beasts exchanged smacks ’til kingdom come. – 3.5/5
THE BAD
–Too many matches. I get what Josh is doing with Bloodsport, sorta branching out, extending and diversifying the brand with hopes of maybe making it something than the bi/tri-annual event it is. I enjoying seeing competitors from all walks of life take part in this Pancrase-styled of pro wrestling, but I really loved Bloodsport when it was a mere 7-8 big time match-ups hovering around 2-hours rather than 11. That said, the crowd hung in there for the majority of the extended show.
–Royce Isaacs vs. Bad Dude Tito & Masha Slamovich vs. Janai Kai – We’ve seen some meh matches in Bloodsport before, yet thankfully nothing on the card was as bad as, say, Dominic Garrini vs. KTB (insert cry-laughing emojis). Again, I could’ve just done with less filler. Also, Masha is billed from Russia and got a wonderful ovation from the crowd. Texas, don’t change.
Overall = 3/5 Whiskeys.
-Travis Moody
Stay tuned for more Mania Weekend reviews tomorrow night!
WWE 2K22 is a good game. If you enjoyed WWE 2K19as much as I did(yeah, 19.. not 2K20.. ugh), then there’s no doubt that you’re going to pour many hours, days and months into the latest WWE video game. 2K22 is also the first true wrasslin’ title on current gen consoles — a wondrous revelation that’s, at many times, bafflingly problematic.
With that out of the way, let’s break down and whiskey score each performance area and game mode this year, shall we?
PRINCE [Mostly] PRETTY
VISUALS
No shocking the critical system here, especially since WWE 2K finally receives its proper NextGen aesthetic: we talkin’ graphics, marks. The game is largely fabulous to the naked eye, as most — specifically WWE’s biggest superstars — look downright perfect. And other than the vastly improved lighting, arena environments do appear unchanged from prior generations, though. While I haven’t bothered doing any tech research with Xbox One X & PlayStation 4 Pro visuals compared to that on Xbox Series S/X and PS5 consoles, WWE 2K22 looks overall delightful via my Series X on a full 4K/HDR 60″ Sony LED.
With special lighting effects, superstar entrances are worth spending the few minutes to take in, and wrestlers are further expressive in their introductions and pack more in-match charisma than ever before. Some WWE Legends, female superstars and current mid-carders are a mixed bag, as “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, Ric Flair, Carmella, Mandy Rose, MVP, Roddy Strong, etc. are harder to look at than Bastion Booger unless you want a laugh. But no amount of realistic sweat and blood drips can save the hair. Despite improved animations for hair flow and natural sway, the textures are absolutely the worst I’ve seen thus far on any PS5 or Xbox Series game. How Visual Concepts couldn’t figure out how to improve upon the stringy hair pixels and some super plastic female skin in two years is truly mystifying.
Bah Gawd it’s Black Adam vs. The Peacemaker!
Even the top-notch Community Creators have expressed their frustration with managing the hair options (or severe lack thereof). These peeps are doing their best with what’s given for mops, so definitely don’t skip out on dishing your fav CAW master an upvote. They’ll be thrilled to know that championship titles won’t clip through any of their hardworking attire designs, however.
ANIMATIONS
The actual wrestling moves, holds, submission locks and strikes have generally looked profound in this series. There’s a reason why hardly anyone discusses them: much like WWE 2K22‘s sister hoops title, there’s no game of its nature that can hold up to how the game moves, performs and animates the actual art of pro wrestling. 2K even threw in a surplus of new indie-rific movesets too, either courtesy of prior NXT stalwarts or from talents all over the world. Most of the ahe actual wrestling in the game in, indeed, “awesome”.
Interacting with weapons and environments is another matter, and no better than a real chair-shot to the head. Press LB/L1 to grab a chair towards the bottom half part of the ring and your superstar may be grabbing the ropes out of frustration instead. Get a bunch of pals together or mix it up in a multi-person tornado rules match and watch the bugs begin. Thank the Monday Night Messiah that there are no reported game-breaking glitches of 2K wrestling past yet; hell, I’ve yet to witness any shapeshifting/non-Fiend mat-morphing. But do expect some strange teleportation and stalling (during Showcase mode, JBL just decided to stand there and get counted out then face a man less than half his size on Judgement Day!). Though despite these occasional amateurish frustrations, 2K thankfully opted for a decent size can of Raid to spray away most of the pain.
Visuals = 4/5 Animations = 3.75/5
LIGHTS, CAMERA, SAXTON
PRESENTATION
It’s a WWE 2K game and “you know what that means” — more Michael Cole, Corey Graves and Byron Saxton! Thankfully, they’re at least acceptable in this year’s edition. In fact, the best commentary in the game comes when you’re not playing the game at all. Choose a 2-player 1-on-1 match and let the controllers sit. And sit. And sit. And it’s a DAMN(!) shame the commentary isn’t this wonderful when you’re actually participating in the match. That said, this daunted trio does call the action far more accurate move-to-move than any previous edition.
Same Move City!
My biggest gripe? NBA 2K22 has eight announcers in their game; WWE 2K22 has three–the same damn three ever year. Budget issues are a safe bet, but getting the accurate broadcast teams in next year (Pat McAfee to SD! Jimmy Smith to Raw! Vic and Wade on NXT! Good Ol’ JR, Tony Schiavone and Excalibur.. oh.. dammit, wrong game!). 2K22 also offers up a much needed menu presentation overhaul. The clarity and simplification is greatly appreciated, and it’s easier to navigate through through modes, creations/downloads, online tools and options than ever before.
Camera work is the most important (and perhaps underrated) improvement in 2K22. Gone are the flash-cuts 2K so desperately and questionably tried to emulate in previous entries from typically dizzying WWE broadcasts, as the hard cam now follows you whenever you leave the ring and roam around the outside. The zooming in of a high-impact move also feels natural, and the camera will also cut into split-screen if opponents create a bit of distance, especially in backstage brawls. Sadly, the backstage matches are vertically expanded in size only, awesome for a top balcony plunge or two, but contained in a far tighter width than the multi-location locker-room areas of 2K19. There are less interactive environments, too.
Presentation = 3.5/5
ARCADE ELITE WRESTLING
GAMEPLAY
What happens in the squared circle is the most polarizing element this year, as almost the same number of players appear to enjoy the arcade button-mashing blitz of 2K22 as those who prefer the more technical/sim min-games of the past. I happen to like the changes, and have grown to enjoy the new gameplay over a week’s span. It definitely pushes the pace of the 1-on-1 match, and allows casuals to jump into a 4-player plus mode without hesitation. Don’t worry; you don’t need to learn complex, chaining commands. Think X, X, A, B, or X, A, X, A, etc. Minus a few special moves, it’s almost identical gameplay for any one of the nearly 200 WWE, NXT, WCW, ECW and AEW (*chuckles*) wrestlers on the roster.
One element that just hasn’t hit me yet is the defense. I keep pressing Y to counter (actually, I kept press RT/R1.. the old counter button), when there are also blocks and dodges. Blocks and dodges in a wrasslin game? Yeah, that’s gonna take a while to get used to. At least this year you can counter these combos if you tap the same button as your opponent. That mini-game of “smash the right button” is an intriguing one in itself (“C-c-c-combo breakerrrr!!”) and prevents a Tugboat load of spams.
Collision is vastly cleaned-up, despite groggy irish whips that can no longer be executed on the run. I also bump into my opponent off the ropes far more than hit a move. But the hottest game-changer for me? Pins! Oh, pinning and getting pinned in previous iterations has been awful. Now you just smash the A button to your hearts content to kick out, just like you should. It can become a heart-wrenching exercise if your opponent is crafty with the cradles and small package reversals. Zack Sabre Jr. would surely be in his element.
Gameplay = 3.75/5
JERICHO APPRECIATION SOCIETY
CREATION SUITE
Oh, what a fun ride this week has been. It began with many players — nearly led by yours truly — not knowing whether Community Creations this year would be CrossGen. CrossPlat confirmed, yes, but could Xbox Series/PlayStation 5 users download creations from those their older Xbox One/PS4 editions? We didn’t know because “Dre Forgot About Dre”. Longtime WWE 2K Create-A-Wrestler (CAW) creator Dre41 didn’t initially link his 2K Account, and players were let down when they couldn’t find the (still on-da-One) YouTuber’s esteemed creations. Once linked, it was a go, and many AEW fans had their wish: Dre41’s wonderful Jade Cargill, mighty Hangman Page, iconic Sting, and more dreamy CAWs were about to hit our downloads.
Thus, the best news ever was confirmed in the flesh: CAWs are both cross-platform and cross-gen this year! Whooooooooooooo.
Then, the CAW GOAT of all CAW GOATS Defract “brought the walls down” with arguably the finest CAW to date, Judas himself — Chris Jericho. And lest we not forget longtime CAWmunity bossman WhatsTheStatus, holding it down for all the diehards needing their WWE roster updates and updated appearances. It’s only been a week, but I’m pretty satisfied with the low number of high quality CAWs downloaded already thanks to these stalwarts and more (Zaddik, Iconic2K, FriedCaws, GekoDoesCaws, AzorthiousCaws, Jena_Sting, RizarJay also deserve the love).
So, problem time. Only 100 CAWs, 1000 logo/image limit. Still. It’s been 2-years, 2K. You’re also working on next-gen consoles with cloud-based saves and storage, extremely faster processing speeds, etc. etc. Why the limitations? You had a year off and nearly 10 other WWE 2K/THQ games of this nature to build upon. We once had 250 CAWs on a previous generation. What? And while 100 can be something to deal with for now (unless you’re a complete wrestling nut like me who wants to download 20+ Joshi superstars and still have room for The Batman, Power Rangers, and The Gobbledy Gooker), the 1000 logo/image is just the worst. I have around 20 CAWs and already 200 logos downloaded.
So, ain’t “No Chance In Hell” I’ll be able to hit 100 anyway. These restrictions, after years of making this an annual game, on these powerful new consoles is just horseshit. If it’s a restriction from WWE, I might have empathy for that barrier. But let’s be transparent. Why the limitations? Also, not being able to create Advanced Entrances for CAWs this year — including entrance videos — is a disaster, with no multiple motions, lightning or pyro. This sounds more like QC issue with all the B.S. Visual Concepts had with 2K20. That I get.
At least we’re able to add renders to CAWs this year and that’s been an absolute game changer. Match-up screens can now show googled images of your CAWs, which mesh in well (if you can manage to upload the right size) with other in-game superstars. You can also add render images to in-game superstars alternate attire. Very neat. Creators can also create arenas, championships and edit existing ones, to boot. Thus, funky hair and weirdo body morphing options aside, Community Creations seems to be in solid shape. Even when the servers act sus, they’re at least not total trash like most of the previous WWE titles. Now get to expanding on those limitations, 2K!!!
Creation Suite = 4.25/5
SEAN CROW vs. REY MYSTERIO
MyRISE
Thank the wrestling gods for MyRise. I’m in love with this mode. At first I was scared that MyCareer dude would, again, look more like Jimmy Jacobs (or more or less anyone from Wrestling Empire) than yours truly, but this year we pulled it off. Despite the generic character voice (at least give us some options, damn it), I present to you.. the O.G. G.I. Joe.. Seeeeeeeaaaaaan Crowwwwwww.
Too sweet! 🤘🤘
“And newwwwwwwwww!!!!”
MyRise is the GOAT. Interactions with the WWE Performance Center’s Road Dogg and HBK are a blast, and these two dudes initially throw everything at you on your rise to stardom, from mysterious legends of the past (both real and fantasy) to back against the wall scenarios against top stars of each brand. When you eventually graduate to any of the three brands, there are plenty of juicy angles, cutscenes (far better and numerous than Universe mode!), hot rivalries, fun GM interactions, faction opportunities, backstabbery, etc. Imagine something called solid booking! Amazing.
While the writing is often piss-poor and many of the voiceovers (even from WWE Superstars) are deeply uninspired, at least they exist. The only text you’ll read is through social media, and those tweet convos ain’t usually too bad. You have a choice on how to go about each scenario, like a white meat babyface or dick heel, and you can choose to beef when given a chance. Since it’s pretty much saving my experience with WWE 2K22 so far, my only major beef with MyRise is the inability to use our created character in other modes as well as upload them into the Creation Suite. It took me a few hours to create Sean Crow and now dude is done when MyRise career is done. Thanks…
2K SHOWCASE
I actually dig 2K Showcase a lot–this year and most of the Showcases from every other year. Rey Mysterio‘s story is also long overdue. It’s an intriguingly expansive, storied career, so kudos to 2K for getting Rey onboard to tell his story–literally. Gone is the reimaging or reuse of historical commentary, and, instead, Rey has the full director’s take. The presentation is the best part of Showcase mode, as 2K pulls off a seamlessly creative mesh of gameplay and real life footage. While there are glaring omissions on Mysterio’s journey, it’s hard to fault 2K if WWE said no to Chavo (SmackDown‘s “I Quit” match), Kurt Angle (WrestleMania 22 triple threat with Randy Orton), and a Royal Rumble 2006 win that would show of a bunch of folks no longer employed by the company.
Having to unlock stuff to download certain community creations isn’t the best thing either. It can be a pain to pull off every situational move just to reach each objective, especially with no chance to save these checkpoints mid-match. That said, as someone who occasionally misses watching old stuff on the WWE Network, the doc-style narration is a treat, and Showcase serves as a fun tutorial for the new gameplay controls.
MyRISE = 4.5/5 2K Showcase = 3.75/5
MahGAWD
MyGM
Full transparency: I’ve yet to start MyGM or MyFACTION mode and I don’t think I ever will. There’s enough out there to know these new modes are not for me. The only stuff that ever intrigued me about a GM mode in any sports game is doing the draft, and watching cutscenes between players and player personnel (math? No thanks; there’s a reason I don’t “fantasy”). Through livestreams and early reviews, the MyGM consensus appears to be a bare-bones bust. Again, there are restrictions galore. And if math is what you want, math is what you get: 1.) 15/25/50 weeks of playtime, 2.) 3 matches per week, 3.) 2 world champions per brand, 4.) 2 match types– single and tag, 5.) 0 mid-card or tag team titles, and 6.) 0 trades with opposing brands. Someone get Michael “IRS/Wallstreet” Rotunda on the line.
Following your first season of MyGM, you have to do it all over it again, which.. now that I think about it.. isn’t all that off from WWE IRL. Either way, my temptations to do it for the draft not withstanding, I think I’m good on a half-assed general manager mode. Visual Concepts should at least consider merging MyGM with MyUniverse for next year. The proverbial cherry on top? There are zero promo presentations (like, everyone’s fav part of pro wrestling in the first place!), and no option to create your own brands. Brrrrrro.
MyFACTION
This is 2K’s way of sneaking microtransactions into the game without much of un uproar. Anyone who knows anything about Madden Ultimate Team or NBA 2K MyTeam knows what this is about. Collect wrestler cards (and not the cool kind that come with an ice cream bar), assemble a Faction, go through daily/weekly challenges, and use mods to (Virtual Currency is MF here) to boost your squad through the grind. Yeah. IDK. Maybe if there was an option to focus on WWE/WWF legends, I’d be down.
Worse, this is strictly an offline mode. Isn’t battling against virtual pals and 11-year old trolls from Missouri the whole point of a MyTeam? Then again, we understand the scare. It just doesn’t feel like a complete mode, and initially sounded like a “build your Degeneration-X/nWo mode”, which clearly this is not. Pass.
Don’t put Bron in the game = Regal will recruit him!
MyUNIVERSE
This side of MyRise, MyUniverse is still going to be my thing despite zero changes or updates from the last several games. Actually, promos have been nixed. With scripted dialogue worse than that from WWE “creative”, and a severe lack of voiceover promos from talent (despite countless interview “promos” from NBA players and coaches in the other 2K… SMH), I’m not really sad about this omission. If they’re not going to pour the money into it and do it right, might as well not even have promos at all.
For those unaware, MyUniverse is the chance to create and play out your dream wrestling fantasy. Whether that’s ditching WWE altogether for your own created promotions such as AEW and New Japan, or posing McMahon’s Galaxy up against “The Forbidden Door” of everyone else out there in the pro wrestling world, Universe can be a blast and the biggest reason for my slight infatuation with the annual wrestling title. Imagine creating match-ups like Roman vs. Omega or Sasha vs. Jade in a WWE vs. The World scenario, which’ll sure beat the piss out of whatever the hell that WCW Invasion was ever supposed to be. Either way, this is the only mode that acts as a full playground for all of our CAWs, created brand shows, championships, rivalries, and more.
But for Visual Concepts to hardly acknowledge the much heralded mode — this side of a Superstar lock-in addition — is flat-out sad. No draft, no new cutscenes, and only one-on-one and tag-team rivalries(I’ve already observed the same “stomp opponent after match” thing from Roman and Rollins in the same week…). If your match table is set to anything but these two types of matches, such as triple threats, 6 or 8-man tags, or battle royals, don’t expect any cutscenes to happen. Ever. I’m still going to mess with MyUniverse, because that’s all we have, and I’m just gonna have to enjoy playing the game more than itching and hoping for the “countless hours of cutscenes” 2K promised to us so many years ago.
MyGM = 2/5 MyFACTION = 1.75/5 MyUNIVERSE = 3.25/5
ELIMINATION CHAMBER
FINAL THOUGHTS
This has to be the longest video game review I’ve ever written. Because I care, 2K. BECAUSE I CARE. And, this year, I know you guys care too. WWE 2K22 is the comeback wrestler of the year, the career once thought dead due to game-breaking bugs/glitches, downright devastating server issues, and a little thing called COVID-19. So, while these two years have given us plenty of expectations — both high and low — it’s easy to feel fairly satisfied with its return.
I don’t love every mode; I don’t love even the thought of playing some of the modes; and 2K/VC did nothing to advance my favorite mode. But at least there’s a lot to consume and a great return base for future installments. Even for the $120 nWo 4-Life Edition, most players should be satisfied with the content, graphics, and quality control. The game did crash on me a bunch during modes and menu selections, but no data was lost even during the infamous scary updates that warn you about your save data. Some changes in Universe were lost, but nothing major. After 2K20, I’ll take it, even with appalling load times on new consoles where load times are barely a thing.
Sure, the third biggest request to 2K from fans was more match types — I Quit, Lumberjack, Special Referee, uh, War Games! — and we didn’t get any of them. We did get a pretty remarkable (if not entirely dated) Thunderdome experience with 2K devs gracing the arena’s endless video screens– a virtual launch party of sorts for a title that certainly hits adequate. And maybe we should be grateful that, this year, it at least hits that.
Overall = 3.5/5 Whiskeys.
-Travis Moody
WWE 2K22 now available on PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, Xbox One, Xbox Series X/S and PC.
