E3 ’14 [Full Parish Preview]: We Bringin’ Down Tha House!

“HOLY” HAILEY BRIGHT @haileybright







1.) The Sims 4 – I play lots of Sims on my YouTube channel, so I’m extremely excited for all the Sim customization options and greater world personalization that Sims 4 is going to bring to the table. The characters are going to have enhanced intelligence and emotions, making sure that every action is informed and has a chain reaction, so this should make for some hilarious and very interesting gameplay.

2.) Batman: Arkham Knight – Taffeta said it earler: Batmobile! It’s going to be sick to have the Batmobile integrated into gameplay as a hands-on means of travel across Gotham. I’m also looking forward to Batman’s new acrobatics like steeper dives and higher climbs. Since this is the last game in the trilogy, I’m sure Rocksteady is going to make sure Batman is a total bat-ass, making for many hours of gameplay. You may not see me for a month. Hehe.

3.) Mass Effect 4 – OK, so little is known about this title right now, but considering how awesome the series has been I expect nothing short of perfection from ME4. I’m looking forward to playing as a new character — goodbye Shepard — and hoping that “The N7” will go out on a limb and give us the option of choosing our character by race like in Dragon Age. That would be a great start; but we’ll see what Bioware throws at us at E3.

“SERMONIZER” RYAN SCOTT @radio_adventure







1.) Star Wars: Battlefront III – As someone who has spent more time playing the first two editions of what is unquestionably the greatest Star Wars game of all time, it makes sense that this “Sermonizer” is beyond ready to see what Dice has in store for us with the latest installment. The old games still hold up, so a next-gen Battlefront should be nothing shy of a Mace Windu “Motha-fuckah”.


2.) Halo 5: GuardiansHalo to me is something that is rooted in the earliest days of my gaming and no matter what, every time there is a new addition to the franchise I’ll be eager to jump back into the fold. Say what you will, Titanfreaks, but Halo is still the most fun you can have gaming online.

3.) Super Smash Bros. – Gaming has come a long way since Nintendo first brought us this instant classic. Yet no matter how far it comes, watching Donkey Kong get pooped out of Yoshi inside of an egg never gets old. One can only imagine how they will improve upon that for the Wii U.

“PADRE” GUY COPES @guycopes3







1.) Mass Effect 4 – I don’t care if it is a long-shot that we will get any info or not. The series that united the Padre and the Monsignor in unholy, eternal geekery, (No, not like that motherfuckers!) is my hands down greatest series of the last generation of console gaming. How could it not be my most anticipated game of E# 2014 (because it should be on our 2015 list – Moody. Motherfucker!). Guy Shepard is ready to rise from the rubble of Earth and face the new universe of the next gen ME.

2.) Batman: Arkham Knight – Let’s see. Batman = check. Rocksteady = check. Where exactly do I sign over my soul to get this game early? I’m a big fan (can’t you tell?) of the first three Arkham games, especially Arkham City. I’m looking forward to seeing how this true sequel to that game, hopefully, answers some of the questions left over and sprinkled about by Azrael and others. With the Rocksteady crew back at the helm, I have no doubt that we could be getting a sneak peak during E3 of a potential game of the year candidate for next gen systems. And the mystery if just who the new Arkham Knight character may be has me anticipating the game even more. Azrael? Dick Grayson? Jason Todd? Bat Mite on steroids? Who knows, but I can’t wait to find out. P.S. – We finally get to drive the “Goddamn…!”

3.) Gears of War 4 – #3 on the Padre’s list is #4 in the series that set a new standard for movement and cover firing in 3rd person action shooters. Quite possibly one of the few things that could convince me to switch from buying a PS4 later this summer to hitching my gamer fanboy wagon to the Xbone. I’ve been a diehard GoW fan since the beginning. It’s like an Image 90’s comic come to life. Violence, carnage, evil shit living just beneath the world we know, and larger than life a-holes with a heart of gold and stone. What’s not to love or be excited for. Sign me up, chainsaw gun and all. Honorable mentions: Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor, Uncharted 4: The Sunken Blade.

(Flip the page for more E3 parish picks!)